Sunday, August 15, 2004
Hazleton Pravda apologizes to our growing fan base for being away for so long, but we have all been on Institute business working on other special projects. Keep looking here for more unspoken truths! Look for Virtual Freeland & Virtual Hazleton coming soon to our webring. Check it out!
Deigo Day Comes to Hazleton!
That’s right, you heard it right folks. It’s today in Hazleton! I-ties all over the city (using the term city laughingly) are celebrating some kind of holiday geared towards them being Mafia wannabe, World War turncoats and basically ridiculous degenerations of Romans that are know throughout the world today as Italians! We don’t know what they call it, so we took the liberty of naming it for them. We expect there’ll be garlic in the air for weeks! They have their Italian flags and banners all over town right next to their American flags, which is disgraceful. Either you are an American or you are a Hazleton Deigo. Pick!
Quote from the movie Stalingrad: “Good Italian wine; Tastes like piss!”
NOTE: Hazleton Pravda would like to express that as a whole Italians are not being discriminated here, and would like to make the distinction that we are addressing Hazleton I-ties which are pretty much scum. Pravda would also like to note that this is a generalization and that not ALL Hazleton I-ties are unscrupulous, amoral and crooked spaghettios, just the ones with any money really.
Schulkill Plus Still Better Than Panorama Anthracite
Well another month goes by and the people at Schuylkill Plus have again made a more pertinent useful publication then Mr. Meat & Potatoes (a.k.a. Neil Rodino) could ever manage with any of his Panorama magazines. Of course, Schuylkill Plus is lacking the usual stories about people who are on their deathbeds recalling the good old days when people had wooden teeth because they liked the splinters they would get and how great it was to go out to the outhouse in the middle of winter. Oh, those were the days. Sorry Schuylkill Plus only has informative articles that its readers actually can garner some useful information from. Oh, and it has event listings of things people actually want to go to. Imagine that! Well, Mr. Meat & Potatoes better luck next month with Panorama.
Jehovah’s Witnesses
These people are the most uninformed bunch of bible touters. You tell them you don’t practice any religion, and they think you mean you’re an atheist and ask why you don’t believe in Gawd. You ask them what the dinosaurs were up to in the early bible texts, they tell you they were ‘outside’ of the Garden of Eden and that the flood got them anyway. What about the plesiosaurs and all the dinosaurs that livid in the oceans. I can’t see them caring too much about floods. And now the Jehovah’s Witness go around not in pairs but in whole car loads to break down your door spreading ‘their’ good word at you. They’re almost as bad as telemarketers, which may be a sick religion unto itself, the grand Religion of Solicitation. That makes a lot of sense and can include the Jehovah’s Witnesses in an umbrella plan. So anyway, if anyone comes a-knockin’ on a Sunday morn lock you’re doors and close your shades till these charlatan zealots go elsewhere. I ain’t even gonna bother to link to these loons! Besides, they’ll leave you a Watchtower pamphlet in your door anyway.
Unemployment, Or the Lack of Jobs That Don’t Suck in NEPA
We at Pravda have been noticing a lot of small magazines being circulated in the Hazleton Area under the Employment Weekly or EW. That sounds great, a periodical designed to make people aware of the job opportunities in the area. The only problem with this is that there are no jobs. Let us clarify: There are no jobs worth having. You can argue that the world needs its ditch diggers, but how many fucking ditches could we possibly need in NEPA?????? It’s not like the old geriatrics are dying off that quickly. They’re the lingering dead. Even if we make enough ditches to put them all in they’ll only crawl back out and wag their fingers at you menacingly! Come on people, wake up! This area needs capable jobs where you don’t have to break your back trying to earn a few pittance of change! The EW’s selection of job’s and opportunities is just as bad as the Standard Speaker’s crap classifieds. Wanted driver. Wanted slave operator. Wanted another slave operator. Wanted nurses aids (because they’re cheaper then real nurses) to fuss over gigantic liver spotted crones. Or on the other sides of the EW publications are schooling. Come to our overcrowded half-assed colleges because you only need to be able to count to be a ditch digger in NEPA, and really counting isn’t required and may hold you back in job placement. Oh well, just play dumb and CANT DO will find YOU!
La Voz Latina Mensual
The first Latino oriented (and all in Spanish) publication comes to Hazleton. Although the Institute frowns on anything non-English, we at Hazleton Pravda are pleased to see that this growing population to the Hazleton area is receiving a publication geared culturally and linguistically towards them. Plus it scars all the old people and the dumb-as-post Hazletonians who are scared and confused by the growing Hispanic Treat! Ahhhh! And these are the people who through their own complacency not only instigated this cultural influx, but invited it into their tiny backwards minds…er I mean town, backwards town, yeah. No Freudian slip there folks! And the best part of this new publication is that even though my Spanish is kinda rusty I can certainly say it reads better and clearer then anything the Standard Speaker or Panorama does! Muy bien!
Deigo Day Comes to Hazleton!
That’s right, you heard it right folks. It’s today in Hazleton! I-ties all over the city (using the term city laughingly) are celebrating some kind of holiday geared towards them being Mafia wannabe, World War turncoats and basically ridiculous degenerations of Romans that are know throughout the world today as Italians! We don’t know what they call it, so we took the liberty of naming it for them. We expect there’ll be garlic in the air for weeks! They have their Italian flags and banners all over town right next to their American flags, which is disgraceful. Either you are an American or you are a Hazleton Deigo. Pick!
Quote from the movie Stalingrad: “Good Italian wine; Tastes like piss!”
NOTE: Hazleton Pravda would like to express that as a whole Italians are not being discriminated here, and would like to make the distinction that we are addressing Hazleton I-ties which are pretty much scum. Pravda would also like to note that this is a generalization and that not ALL Hazleton I-ties are unscrupulous, amoral and crooked spaghettios, just the ones with any money really.
Schulkill Plus Still Better Than Panorama Anthracite
Well another month goes by and the people at Schuylkill Plus have again made a more pertinent useful publication then Mr. Meat & Potatoes (a.k.a. Neil Rodino) could ever manage with any of his Panorama magazines. Of course, Schuylkill Plus is lacking the usual stories about people who are on their deathbeds recalling the good old days when people had wooden teeth because they liked the splinters they would get and how great it was to go out to the outhouse in the middle of winter. Oh, those were the days. Sorry Schuylkill Plus only has informative articles that its readers actually can garner some useful information from. Oh, and it has event listings of things people actually want to go to. Imagine that! Well, Mr. Meat & Potatoes better luck next month with Panorama.
Jehovah’s Witnesses
These people are the most uninformed bunch of bible touters. You tell them you don’t practice any religion, and they think you mean you’re an atheist and ask why you don’t believe in Gawd. You ask them what the dinosaurs were up to in the early bible texts, they tell you they were ‘outside’ of the Garden of Eden and that the flood got them anyway. What about the plesiosaurs and all the dinosaurs that livid in the oceans. I can’t see them caring too much about floods. And now the Jehovah’s Witness go around not in pairs but in whole car loads to break down your door spreading ‘their’ good word at you. They’re almost as bad as telemarketers, which may be a sick religion unto itself, the grand Religion of Solicitation. That makes a lot of sense and can include the Jehovah’s Witnesses in an umbrella plan. So anyway, if anyone comes a-knockin’ on a Sunday morn lock you’re doors and close your shades till these charlatan zealots go elsewhere. I ain’t even gonna bother to link to these loons! Besides, they’ll leave you a Watchtower pamphlet in your door anyway.
Unemployment, Or the Lack of Jobs That Don’t Suck in NEPA
We at Pravda have been noticing a lot of small magazines being circulated in the Hazleton Area under the Employment Weekly or EW. That sounds great, a periodical designed to make people aware of the job opportunities in the area. The only problem with this is that there are no jobs. Let us clarify: There are no jobs worth having. You can argue that the world needs its ditch diggers, but how many fucking ditches could we possibly need in NEPA?????? It’s not like the old geriatrics are dying off that quickly. They’re the lingering dead. Even if we make enough ditches to put them all in they’ll only crawl back out and wag their fingers at you menacingly! Come on people, wake up! This area needs capable jobs where you don’t have to break your back trying to earn a few pittance of change! The EW’s selection of job’s and opportunities is just as bad as the Standard Speaker’s crap classifieds. Wanted driver. Wanted slave operator. Wanted another slave operator. Wanted nurses aids (because they’re cheaper then real nurses) to fuss over gigantic liver spotted crones. Or on the other sides of the EW publications are schooling. Come to our overcrowded half-assed colleges because you only need to be able to count to be a ditch digger in NEPA, and really counting isn’t required and may hold you back in job placement. Oh well, just play dumb and CANT DO will find YOU!
La Voz Latina Mensual
The first Latino oriented (and all in Spanish) publication comes to Hazleton. Although the Institute frowns on anything non-English, we at Hazleton Pravda are pleased to see that this growing population to the Hazleton area is receiving a publication geared culturally and linguistically towards them. Plus it scars all the old people and the dumb-as-post Hazletonians who are scared and confused by the growing Hispanic Treat! Ahhhh! And these are the people who through their own complacency not only instigated this cultural influx, but invited it into their tiny backwards minds…er I mean town, backwards town, yeah. No Freudian slip there folks! And the best part of this new publication is that even though my Spanish is kinda rusty I can certainly say it reads better and clearer then anything the Standard Speaker or Panorama does! Muy bien!
Comments:
I lived in Hazleton for 30 years. I was raised in the area and up until I was old enough to drive I had no idea how bad the area was. I thought once I got a lisence I would see the rest of the city and be in awe. Well... I got my license, drove around town, cruised broad street, and decided I should just keep going. However because of the oppression in Hazleton I was unable to just pick up and leave. I couldn't afford it. But I will tell you this over the last 3 - 4 years the greasy latinos moving in have made Hazleton a bigger shit hole than it ever was. How could anyone think its good to have them or we are scared of them just because they are different? They are noisy, greasy, slimy, smelly cocksuckers... oops cockroaches. If you havent had the joy of having a family move in next door to you, just wait because they will. I had to listen to that disgusting jungle music, and hear them shouting "yabba, dabba, doo" and "chicklets" through the walls everyday. And when I say a family moved in that means there were about 20 of them living in a 2 room apartment. Well the good news is that I got out of Hazleton and am living in the South and will never look back. My recommendation to Hazleton is to change the signs coming into it.. They should read "Welcome to Los Hazleton" "Come see our Taco Bell". The city sold out for a head count!
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# posted by 
: 8/23/2004 09:26:00 AM
: 8/23/2004 09:26:00 AM
