Hazleton Pravda

A Hazleton Dick

By Gombeggar

You ride along over the potholes
Don’t give a damn ‘bout your suspension or your wheels
You’re to busy looking for the next free ride
Watch housing developments spring up on the fields
The word entropy is all around you
But you don’t take the time to witness
Oldies are on the radio
Overdeveloped nostalgia makes you feel like you’re missing
No time for anyone else
You’ve got other things to do
Tell the rest to go to hell
You’ve got your own things to do
If it means giving up the time you set aside for golf
Then that’s too bad for some
Just in time to make it to the Laurel Mall
Don’t worry about your neighbor
Keep thinking ‘bout yourself
There’s no time to do any favors
Unless you get something in return; you need something in return; you really need to learn
That you are a Hazleton Dick

Trust is something that you barter
It can be something that you buy
But things like truth and generosity
Are priced far, far too high
--And they are overrated anyway—
Henna?

When the long shifts are over
And every knife is neatly
Placed small-ly in the back
Then it’s time for a cheap case of beer
Maybe give the wife a crack
You’ve been on the phone all day long
Greasing wheels and selling crap
Looking out for your own hide, your backside
While you wait to make a stab
So by the time that you’re home again
In your house with perfect flowers
And the square pitza made to be cold, then
You rush in after many hours
To tell your story to your mate
Expecting fan fairs and golden showers
Expecting to be told that you’re great
Since you made a nickel on a dime
By squeezing someone else’s arm
Taking blood and Federal Cheese
Doing exactly as you please

Everything’s a commodity
Get your dollars ready here
Make sure that you get in line
But don’t you blush, don’t be afraid to use another person’s fear
To get up the very next rung
The ladder goes up to the sky
Don’t you worry; Don’t be shy

Just remember to be that great
Be rude, be yourself
Remember, don’t be late
Because there’s always the next one down
Watch your back, and grab all that you can take
This is Hazleton
Spell it wrong; doesn’t matter
It’s too late
Just make sure that before it’s all done
That you have a piece of the cake
Watch the buildings fall
And the crumble and desolate
See the people leave
They’re tired now they’ve given all and then some
That you can rake
Fill your pockets
Call yourself a proud Italian
And an American by the side
You don’t see the Hunks and Slavs doing that
Maybe the silly Pols
But we’re all not JUST Americans in Hazleton
Henna?

Walk to work?
You wouldn’t think of it
Call a cab?
Well, you couldn’t
Explain that away
Take your show car
One of the toys you collect
Then tell your employees in a rant
How can’t afford to pay them because you’re spent
On a Jaguar that was second hand
--At best!

Oh, it is tough to be
A Hazleton Dick
Watch the Deigo flags wave
And plan your next money trick
Time has stopped for you and me
In Hazleton, but for all the blood money you can’t see
You play your social games
Expecting that big pat
Upon your back like a good slap
Cuz remember you’re still a dog
For the bigger, badder scheme trap

So, you drive along the potholed roads
And you never do take the time
To see the world around you
Because there’s lunch with the boss
And the sewer costs
Let’s just put in some lime
The concrete will last long enough
Because it is made of good material
The contractors decreed
They think its good stuff, you’re a bastard of the ethereal
Won’t wear out in a month, a year
We can look on it forever
And we will
--Henna?

Take a moment; Take a lifetime
The potholes are unchanged
Trees, they come and go
Greenbacks are all you see
Let’s elect someone else
So long as he knows the fee
There’s a price
Walk the walk; Turn the trick
Speak easy because the world of Hazleton
Has done this
For countless decades with no change in sight
A penny to hide your thoughts away
A dollar would be finer

If you can make it home just a little sooner
Do a little less
Ignore the poor,.the homeless, the distressed
CAN DO will make your bed
Cover it all up with a smile and a wrench
Did you get a kick-back?
Then you must have something to learn
Or maybe there’s a favor you could do
Or an old friend who’s just waiting
Waiting to get burned
Think a while, while the pasta cools
It’s on the house
If you mention a name and use
Your glowing, ever growing clout
Turn a deal
We’re all paper here
Scrap us up off your shoe
Hazleton’s finest in a bag a to go
It’s not so much the words, but the passing of greenback papers
That makes a show

No time for the fella
Just trying to get by
Unless he’s got something
That can turn you a dollar. And why?
Because you are –A Hazleton Dick

Not a thought for someone else
Or the trees or bushes
No care for the kind of water
That you let your kids drink
It’s all good so long as they think
That you are the best you can be
A Hazleton savior, red, green and let’s see…
White makes three
Not quite the stars and stripes
But who cares when you’re a Hazleton superstar
Then you can buy the right
Shall I take that call?
Who is this person? How can he help me?
Well, if he can’t
Then he’s filed thirteen
Circular resume with an eye for the shredder
Go down to the unemployment
There’s plenty of factory jobs

We love it here
There’s no place better
And every place is just like this
Keep filling pockets and thinking that
Or
Just don’t think at all
Punch in, pay out and have a fabulous life
With potholes
With paydirt and rubble
We can truck it in
And out of town, but that will cost you
Because you need to be reminded that you are a Hazleton Dick
Man or woman
You are a Hazleton Dick