Friday, December 10, 2004
We at Hazleton Pravda wish everyone a happy upcoming holiday, excepting those holding local government offices, those involved with CANT DO, all the upper management and owners of factories in Valmont, Humbolt, Crestwood or otherwise and those that contribute in any way to the grayness of the Hazleton area. Gee, that doesn’t leave too many of you left to wish seasons greetings too, does it? Just the throgs of slaving masses!
Well, for all of the masses of Hazleton try to enjoy the holidays. And to our loyal fans and aquatinted or casual readers we’d like to remind you to check out our first Pravda Poll survey. Take a moment to look to your right and vote. We’d really like to hear your opinions.
--Thanks the staff of Hazleton Pravda!
Survey: Nurses tops in honesty, car salesmen last
CNN reports on a survey by Gallup's annual U.S. survey of professions denoting a poll with some very interesting results. Amazingly policemen and clergy were ranked fairly high at numbers 6 & 7 respectively. I would suspect that that survey was not taken here in the *trumpets please* GREATER HAZLETON AREA! Cops aren’t honest in Hazleton. They are REALLY not honest if they are from these smaller towns. Freaks in Weatherly getting stoned on evidence drugs; freaks late of Freeland pulling woman over for sexual favors (see Mahalik (spelling notwithstanding)). And the clergy…well clergy by their stalwart decision and proclamation that their view of God (or Bog) is the right and only one by definition makes them liars. Well, to be fair organized religion is really a lie in and of itself. Ya gotta donate in the basket every Sunday (or Saturday for good Catholics)* because God/Bog NEEDS your money. I DOUBT THAT VERY MUCH.
I really have a problem with doctors coming in at number 5 for honesty though after that nonsense with them NARKING on their OWN patients specifically against Mr. Keith Emerich. Of course that was specific to Pennsyltucky (as far as WE know!). Hazleton Pravda hopes that Mr. Emerich has received some REAL justice against the judicial nonsense of losing his license for confiding in his own physician. Doctors who practice this breakage of doctor/patient confidentiality should LOOSE their LICENSE to practice medicine! Unless honesty for doctors means they can’t help but tell all their patients' intimate details to Big Brother then I think that the survey is pretty skewed in this area.
*Note* REALLY good Catholics watch church on Sunday morning from their couch/pews.
XXXpression of Art
The Weekender did a pretty fair and even article about a new pictorial (?) book showcasing pornstars called “XXX: Thirty Porn Star Portraits.” This is one of the best articles done by the Weekender since that great one about the Hedgehog: Ron Jeremy over the summer. Check that one out on the Weekender site too!
It’s good to see porn getting its due, especially if the local church-ies and all the soccer moms around here get offended.
The staff of Hazleton Pravda congratulates the Weekender on doing some of the only DECENT journalism that gets distributed around Hazleton, besides Hazleton Pravda, of course!
One question remains though: Did the Hedgehog grace the pages of this book? Inquiring freaks wanna know? And if so, was his a fold-out?
Schuylkill Plus Notes Many Pottsville Xmas Events
There are a lot of fundraisers, winter concerts and other holiday events being sponsored in the Schuylkill area this month. That’s why Panorama has been talking again about nonsense like the history of Geisinger because folks, there’s no community in Hazleton. But there are geriatrics who are dying to tell ya about days gone by xmases with coal in their stockings and frostbite stories. Or just dying.
You have to stop a moment (all fun bashing Panorama aside) and note how little community this town of Hazleton has, even around xmas. Let's all make an effort to change that. All people seem worried about is getting to Wal-Mart ahead of the next guy so that they can get the latest power-whats-it toy or the strike off another gift on the list. There’s no cheer. Everyone try to remember that Christmas is supposed to be about family and good will. When the weather sets in lend a neighborly hand, or just say Merry Xmas (or Christmas) to someone instead of rushing to get to the checkout line first. Throw that copy of Panorama on top of the Yule log and hold a loved one close as that idiotic publication crinkles up and burns (Sorry—Just had to get another jab in!).
And have a Merry Christmas –everyone.
“Honey, throw another Panoramy on the fire. I feel a chill.”
Food for Thought from the Other Pravda Meat & Potatoes
Just a quick nod to our Russian counterpart Pravda RU—sort of—and their own mention of giving thought to a wider scoop of things around the holidays. –Plus THEY go on at length about UFOs too! Check it out in their archives.
Cadaver Dog Noses Fire Scene
Poor dog. Bet he misses being on the drug squad now! Why the Hell do we even HAVE cadaver dogs and for that matter drug dogs? This is Hazleton, not Columbia for gawd sake!
Sybertsville Standoff Ends in Death
Sounds like another case of area police driving people to their deaths. However, to be fair (as Hazleton Pravda tries its best to be) we will wait for more details and keep our readers informed as we learn more.
West Hazleton Rescinds Yard Sale Ordinance
Well, good. There’s no reason local government should dip their hands into your wallet for something you do on your own damn property! Next you'll need a permit to have a cookout! We the common people can't help it if everything around here is so depressed that local offices are practically shut down for lack of funds. Kick out CANT DO and get some money flowing INTO the area for a change!
Well, for all of the masses of Hazleton try to enjoy the holidays. And to our loyal fans and aquatinted or casual readers we’d like to remind you to check out our first Pravda Poll survey. Take a moment to look to your right and vote. We’d really like to hear your opinions.
--Thanks the staff of Hazleton Pravda!
Survey: Nurses tops in honesty, car salesmen last
CNN reports on a survey by Gallup's annual U.S. survey of professions denoting a poll with some very interesting results. Amazingly policemen and clergy were ranked fairly high at numbers 6 & 7 respectively. I would suspect that that survey was not taken here in the *trumpets please* GREATER HAZLETON AREA! Cops aren’t honest in Hazleton. They are REALLY not honest if they are from these smaller towns. Freaks in Weatherly getting stoned on evidence drugs; freaks late of Freeland pulling woman over for sexual favors (see Mahalik (spelling notwithstanding)). And the clergy…well clergy by their stalwart decision and proclamation that their view of God (or Bog) is the right and only one by definition makes them liars. Well, to be fair organized religion is really a lie in and of itself. Ya gotta donate in the basket every Sunday (or Saturday for good Catholics)* because God/Bog NEEDS your money. I DOUBT THAT VERY MUCH.
I really have a problem with doctors coming in at number 5 for honesty though after that nonsense with them NARKING on their OWN patients specifically against Mr. Keith Emerich. Of course that was specific to Pennsyltucky (as far as WE know!). Hazleton Pravda hopes that Mr. Emerich has received some REAL justice against the judicial nonsense of losing his license for confiding in his own physician. Doctors who practice this breakage of doctor/patient confidentiality should LOOSE their LICENSE to practice medicine! Unless honesty for doctors means they can’t help but tell all their patients' intimate details to Big Brother then I think that the survey is pretty skewed in this area.
*Note* REALLY good Catholics watch church on Sunday morning from their couch/pews.
XXXpression of Art
The Weekender did a pretty fair and even article about a new pictorial (?) book showcasing pornstars called “XXX: Thirty Porn Star Portraits.” This is one of the best articles done by the Weekender since that great one about the Hedgehog: Ron Jeremy over the summer. Check that one out on the Weekender site too!
It’s good to see porn getting its due, especially if the local church-ies and all the soccer moms around here get offended.
The staff of Hazleton Pravda congratulates the Weekender on doing some of the only DECENT journalism that gets distributed around Hazleton, besides Hazleton Pravda, of course!
One question remains though: Did the Hedgehog grace the pages of this book? Inquiring freaks wanna know? And if so, was his a fold-out?
Schuylkill Plus Notes Many Pottsville Xmas Events
There are a lot of fundraisers, winter concerts and other holiday events being sponsored in the Schuylkill area this month. That’s why Panorama has been talking again about nonsense like the history of Geisinger because folks, there’s no community in Hazleton. But there are geriatrics who are dying to tell ya about days gone by xmases with coal in their stockings and frostbite stories. Or just dying.
You have to stop a moment (all fun bashing Panorama aside) and note how little community this town of Hazleton has, even around xmas. Let's all make an effort to change that. All people seem worried about is getting to Wal-Mart ahead of the next guy so that they can get the latest power-whats-it toy or the strike off another gift on the list. There’s no cheer. Everyone try to remember that Christmas is supposed to be about family and good will. When the weather sets in lend a neighborly hand, or just say Merry Xmas (or Christmas) to someone instead of rushing to get to the checkout line first. Throw that copy of Panorama on top of the Yule log and hold a loved one close as that idiotic publication crinkles up and burns (Sorry—Just had to get another jab in!).
And have a Merry Christmas –everyone.
“Honey, throw another Panoramy on the fire. I feel a chill.”
Food for Thought from the Other Pravda Meat & Potatoes
Just a quick nod to our Russian counterpart Pravda RU—sort of—and their own mention of giving thought to a wider scoop of things around the holidays. –Plus THEY go on at length about UFOs too! Check it out in their archives.
Cadaver Dog Noses Fire Scene
Poor dog. Bet he misses being on the drug squad now! Why the Hell do we even HAVE cadaver dogs and for that matter drug dogs? This is Hazleton, not Columbia for gawd sake!
Sybertsville Standoff Ends in Death
Sounds like another case of area police driving people to their deaths. However, to be fair (as Hazleton Pravda tries its best to be) we will wait for more details and keep our readers informed as we learn more.
West Hazleton Rescinds Yard Sale Ordinance
Well, good. There’s no reason local government should dip their hands into your wallet for something you do on your own damn property! Next you'll need a permit to have a cookout! We the common people can't help it if everything around here is so depressed that local offices are practically shut down for lack of funds. Kick out CANT DO and get some money flowing INTO the area for a change!
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