<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Happy Belated Columbus Day!

We, the Pravda Team would like to wish everyone in Hazleton a belated Happy Columbus Day. You know that’s the holiday where Chris Columbus discovered that park on Church Street and Diamond Ave! We can only surmise that Columbus DID discover Hazleton or something stupid like that, stupid enough for a statue to be erected here hundreds of miles from the coast and maybe a thousand miles from the Caribbean where Columbus ACTUALLY landed, ah the completely inaccurate mythos of Hazleton, but more on that later. We, the Pravda Team are happy to be back, glad to have passed through the backwards and amateurish FunFest as well as completely missing the Bloomsburg Fair land of hicks and carnies, and we hope everyone one had a nice big DEIGO Columbus Day full of spaghetti dinners (an actual holiday tradition) for the proud and erroneous founder of our burned out, oppressed and broken by carpetbaggers and thieves kinda town. Thank you for continuing to visit and seek out Hazleton’s unspoken secrets.

Happy Halloween Too!

The HP Team also wishes a belated Happy Halloween (and any other Holidays we might pass through!) to you our humble readers. It is our understanding at HP that the Il Duce of our town, Senior Mayor was dressed as a sponge whilst young trick or treaters were ‘treated’ at city hall on this spooky holiday. While it is tremendous to see the city actually giving back to the hard working denizens in some way for a change, you can’t help wonder at the Freudian-ness of Mayor Lou’s costume, a sponge. He’s trying to soak up as much as he can from this dying town especially with his carpetbagged monies from all the wonderful fly ash and dredge he’s planning to bring in coming into play soon. Say NO to the dredge fill! So anyway here’s some candy kids, don’t mind all the toxins we’re gonna be trucking in. It’s all to line the coats of the people you’re dads and moms slave for in CANT DO labor camps, sorry they're called factories!

New Sign Marks Cities’ Sisterhood

I-Ties came out of the woodwork for this festival of CRAP marking Hazleton’s mistaken, unfounded and completely greed driven claim that there is a sister city of Hazleton (UGHH! Just the thought of ANOTHER Hazleton is vile!) in Cilento Italy, Pisciotta.
This proclamation was made to one of our Pravda staff, months back actually by an insane elderly Hazleton deigo woman. We chose not to mention much simply because when Monges Street turns out to be little Italy and the deigo flag being plastered on every caddy in town, we felt that the Italy pride did NOT need any more swelling.
Now the Standard Speaker (local lapdog publication) ran a big picture on Wednesday, October 26th of Mayor Lou crammed in with a horde of deigos bolstering both the American and Italian flag, as if we don’t see the later enough around here. ARE YOU AMERICAN OR italian? If the later, then there’s a boot in the Mediterranean you should start swimming to.
Hazleton Pravda DOES respect the rights of ethnicity, however EVERYONE in Hazleton is NOT Italian. America is founded as a melting pot of many groups and cultures. Hazleton has become pasta central and all other groups be it hunks, slavs, czecks, pols, hispanics (both the Dominican and Puerto Rican flavored) don’t seem to get the kind of airplay in equal helpings.
And this whole sisterhood nonsense is just about importing more of this Italian town’s stuff so that the powers that be can all get a little richer. Do we really need more olive oil and salami? You can’t find a wheatgrass in this town unless ya make it yourself. There’s no decent place to go where the drinks aren’t watered down. The roads are full of potholes (ask the President). And our culture and art is non-existent. Yeah, I guess cheese would solve everything. It's all about money...And not money that you or the common people see. It's about the powers that be playing the most god awful game of chess with us the working poor being sacrificed as the little chess pieces we are except that there IS NO CHESS GAME IN HAZLETON. There is no winning move except not to play! There is just 'how can we screw 'em today?' by the powers that be. Brought to you by the good people who gave you plastic poly-carbons as a way to breathe and pizza shells on an assembly line of madness where you can't be stationed at any one point in the factory for any length of time without expreriencing extreme pain, and how about a cardboard factory that doesn't admit it is making cardboard or that the shifts are endless and there are no breaks?????? Ahh the promise of a career in Hazleton's gulags. I'm game!
Getting back to the sign that proclaims this nefarious beddown of two deigo tribes on 309: It reads “Memories Last for Ever,” well if you replace ‘Memories’ with ‘Scars’ then you’ve got Hazleton’s populous majority down to a tee.

“Whatever happened to our Polish sister city?” –Doyna Yar

“Gorzow Wielkopolski, Lubelskie, Poland (city, state, country) is Hazleton's sister city.” –Kaphonious

“How many I-Ties can you squeeze into a profiteering scheme, I mean picture?” –Gombeggar

Comments:
Before I permanently left Hazleton in 1999, I had joined sister cities because of the Polish city that was sponsored. At the 1st meeting I went to, they decided to take on an Italian city. There ya go! Italians are griping on to the last threads of power! It's always been that way I hear, but, now that the new ethnic groups devour the city, can they hold on any longer?
 
If memory serves me correctly, I believe the Sister City Program was originally intended to promote east-west cultural exchanges between communist and capitalist cities during the bad old days of the cold war. One would think it would still follow a similar pursuit globally, not this twisted mercantile swap that was celebrated in the Speaker. After all isn't the whole point to have a sister city that is culturally DIFFERENT from your own city??! But I guess to those profiteering that fact is lost. I'm also curious what the city is paying rent to Lou’s lawyer buddy for the sign on 309. Business as usual in Hazleton- another day another kickback…
 
Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?