Saturday, April 01, 2006
Well, another Bachelor’s Week has begun today with April’s Fools Dae. Feel free to look back in our archives to last April, so to see how you can celebrate this week long dedication to manhood and the goodness about being free and clear to do as a bachelor may.
—Gombeggar
We at Hazleton Pravda would like to begin the rest of this session by addressing some of the feedback involving questions and concerns that we’ve received from our loyal viewing audience:
RADON in the Homes at Eagle Rock
According to one HP viewer this is an on-going problem that has received no real attention. We at HP share such environmental concerns and plan to research this subject further. In the meantime, we direct questions and concerns to:
Pennsylvania Dept of Environmental Protection (DEP)
We also invite everyone to discuss the issue in our open forum, which can found to the left of your screen.
DEIGO vs. DAGO
Now this is a curious concern from our viewing audience. We at HP can’t really figure why anyone cares how we spell our racial slurs, but evidently some people out there want to make such their racial group gets called out on the carpet only under exact spelling conditions. For an explanation of OUR spelling please scroll down to comments about “An Occasional Visitor” posted Saturday, May 7, 2005. And again we invite everyone to discuss the matter in our forum to the left.
Quarry Lawsuit Settled
So it turns out Lonzetta Trucking has the BEST dirt in Pennsyltucky and they’re keeping it to themselves!
Board Mulls Valley HS
Now the question is who’s palm is it that needs greasing that has made this NEW project come to light?
Obituaries
Everyone in Hazleton is already dead. Some more then others (the geriatric vampires that they are). The rest of them just don’t stop, cuz they can’t be late for work at the factory.
EDITOR'S NOTE: The Standard Speaker has removed obituaries from it's already useless website some time ago due to the fact that there was a percieved drop in sales since people could go online and mull over morbidly the said obituaries. Cheap Bastards!
Spring Cleaning
Mayor Lou is all proud of this witticism of his as police make another big show of shaking down the last tiny link in a chain of drug trafficking into the area. Naturally it was just the low-men caught while minding their own business and trying to turn a buck in this blighted town. You’ll never hear of any REAL arrests going down otherwise the whole system of Hazleton might breakdown with no drugs to keep the people doped up enough to live through the factory drudgery and too many cops just idling around town. Oh, wait that last part is already going on.
And the Beat Goes On
HASD is more concerned AS USUAL about the bureaucracy of things instead of teaching students and making an environment for students that is less like a prison and more conducive to actual learning. This is nonsense debating about protocol over the hiring of teachers. This is just another example of our tax dollars funneling down the toilet.
—Gombeggar
We at Hazleton Pravda would like to begin the rest of this session by addressing some of the feedback involving questions and concerns that we’ve received from our loyal viewing audience:
RADON in the Homes at Eagle Rock
According to one HP viewer this is an on-going problem that has received no real attention. We at HP share such environmental concerns and plan to research this subject further. In the meantime, we direct questions and concerns to:
Pennsylvania Dept of Environmental Protection (DEP)
We also invite everyone to discuss the issue in our open forum, which can found to the left of your screen.
DEIGO vs. DAGO
Now this is a curious concern from our viewing audience. We at HP can’t really figure why anyone cares how we spell our racial slurs, but evidently some people out there want to make such their racial group gets called out on the carpet only under exact spelling conditions. For an explanation of OUR spelling please scroll down to comments about “An Occasional Visitor” posted Saturday, May 7, 2005. And again we invite everyone to discuss the matter in our forum to the left.
Quarry Lawsuit Settled
So it turns out Lonzetta Trucking has the BEST dirt in Pennsyltucky and they’re keeping it to themselves!
Board Mulls Valley HS
Now the question is who’s palm is it that needs greasing that has made this NEW project come to light?
Obituaries
Everyone in Hazleton is already dead. Some more then others (the geriatric vampires that they are). The rest of them just don’t stop, cuz they can’t be late for work at the factory.
EDITOR'S NOTE: The Standard Speaker has removed obituaries from it's already useless website some time ago due to the fact that there was a percieved drop in sales since people could go online and mull over morbidly the said obituaries. Cheap Bastards!
Spring Cleaning
Mayor Lou is all proud of this witticism of his as police make another big show of shaking down the last tiny link in a chain of drug trafficking into the area. Naturally it was just the low-men caught while minding their own business and trying to turn a buck in this blighted town. You’ll never hear of any REAL arrests going down otherwise the whole system of Hazleton might breakdown with no drugs to keep the people doped up enough to live through the factory drudgery and too many cops just idling around town. Oh, wait that last part is already going on.
And the Beat Goes On
HASD is more concerned AS USUAL about the bureaucracy of things instead of teaching students and making an environment for students that is less like a prison and more conducive to actual learning. This is nonsense debating about protocol over the hiring of teachers. This is just another example of our tax dollars funneling down the toilet.
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