Tuesday, May 23, 2006
We here at Hazleton Pravda hope that everyone who could get to the voting polls last Tuesday did so. Exercising your right to vote may not always change the outcome of local and upward politics, but sometimes one vote can shake things up just enough. So always remember to vote. It’s one of those things the powers that be can’t take away from you just yet. And if enough of our voices are heard we can get rid of the powers that be and change the old guard for the better of us all—Remember, we all have a voice and a say. Change happens when we get off our asses and stop letting others make decisions that make our lives a Hazleton circle jerk, and a living hell of factory slavery and looking at ones feet.
—Gombeggar, Editor
Protests at Hazleton Mall Cinema
—By Scoop Donkey, Contributing Writer
The DaVinci Code as a film has brought local Christian Zealots out of their cumbersome world in outrage, or at least it did last Saturday night at Hoyts Cinema at the Laurel Mall. Small children perhaps eight or ten in black pants, white shirts and black ties were pressed into service of a religion they can’t possibly be old enough to comprehend let alone debate and protest. That’s the sick part: young impressionable children being dogmatized by their elders who are aghast at ideas about a two thousand year religion that is practiced almost entirely wrongly (as most religions are) by much of its splintered groups all claiming to be the ‘right’ or ‘correct’ religion of Christ. There is no hope for the blindsided. If you are so threatened in your beliefs by a work of fiction that was in fact an awful movie anyway, then there is little emancipation for you, the small-minded Christian. I did not enjoy the movie as you had to have sat through every gawd-awful DaVinci documentary from the History channel, The National Geographic channel and all those in between plus read a few books to know what the fuck was going on. That’s a lot of work for to see a movie, dontcha think? But even though I left halfway through the film, because I know the ending—Christ got the chop in the end no matter what—the high point of my amusement was when one of the young brainwashed zealot children came into the theater and proclaimed how we all needed to be saved on account of watching this movie. Well, one movie-goer shouted “Go to Hell!” I found that wryly amusing. Then the youth was pulled out by security. Funny thing religion. When you take it at face value and do not question it unequivicalibly then you start to listen to foolish things and the next thing ya know you are driving a plane into somebody’s skyscraper. Think about it.
Who’s Next?
“Super-Lou, don’t quit your day job!”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
How can we NOT jump on this? ‘Who’s Next’ IS one of the better albums by The Who, but it is one stupid decree from city hall. “I suggest if anybody in Hazleton is involved in drug sales, they need to leave or they will be visited. Who’s next?” —Mayor Lou according to the Standard Speaker.
Well, there’s so much wrong with this. A series of drug raids according to the Speaker? Now everyone should know that the powers that be NEVER bust anyone but the low man on the rope. The big shots never get hit, because the powers that be WANT drugs to come in to keep the factory slaves in check. What probably happened in this SERIES of drug bust is that once again the proper hands weren’t greased. The powers that be get easily upset if they haven’t got their hands in everyone’s till. Far be it that someone might actually turn a profit around here and not give their due. Yeah, drugs are a commodity like any other. Don’t be foolish and think otherwise. And OBVIOUSLY there is a need to distract ones-self in this miserable town from the drudgery of slave labor and poor wages. Ya gotta self medicate to exist here!
The Romans called it bread and circuses, and ya know every once in a while they too blocked the streets and sent some denizens to the slaughter like lambs. The same thing goes on here in Hazleton, with a very poor façade to cover the truth, that drugs aren’t gonna stop coming in when all those on top of this heap are making money at it with kickbacks. So while Mayor Lou was all cameras and smiles, he has little to be slapping himself on the back as another small man gets pummeled and taken to the ninth degree of the law for trying to make a little cash in a niche that is secretly condoned, and probably trying to cover his own needs to get through the day as well, while REAL traffickers keep safe and high and mighty in this crooked land of Hazleton. Oh, and ya gotta love the Speakers second pic for the news that day on the front page, Friday May 19th…Ya got Mayor Lou looking all important staring up into outer space whilst in the middle of the police and the one guy is just looking at Mayor Lou as if to say, “What the Hell are you doing here? We’re trying to work here!” By the way, did the Speaker get enough happy pictures of people being oppressed by Hazleton police? Oh and that sign they left on the premises of the shop they ‘closed’…’Sorry…They’re out of business. If you sell drugs you lose.’ The owners will probably be unjustly charged for the sign, and admonished for not paying the proper kickbacks to the right folks…Then they’ll be back in business on another street in a few weeks time. THINK ABOUT THAT PEOPLE! And keep in mind that Hazleton NEEDS all the revenue it can get. Closing businesses doesn’t help anyone unless ya want MORE senseless factories to swallow this area. Do you?
Bottom line is they (the powers that be) brought the drugs, the inner-city folk and all of it…and it blew up in their small-minded faces!
Graffiti Mars Pine Street Area
One street gets tagged and there is an epidemic of inner-city crime? Grow up Hazleton. Ya bring in metro people and you get metro life. Go get a bucket and a sponge if it bugs ya so much! Or just hide behind your curtains while the powers that be make all your decisions for you!
County Baseball Money Still on Bench
Not enough greenbacks and grease? So now cuz everyone has to be so petty (Hazleton as usual) the kids are gonna suffer cuz these yokels can’t get their heads outta their asses. Think about the kids for gawd sake!
Crestwood’s Hiring of Maintenance Firm Angers Some
And well it should. Plenty of jobs are gonna be out-sourced now when there are capable folks in this area that could use a job in maintenance and have the skills and the know-how. Why is this area always trying to shot itself in the foot and give everyone else are hard working dollars? You got to think of your own folks first.
Directors Revamp Effort to Amend HASD Hiring Policy
Now it will NOT ONLY be a question of who you know and who ya spread for. Now you’ll have to account at least three generations back that you have a hazleton deigo in your family heritage?
Lame Ducks
Lame politicians, lame area…too many kick backs…too much corruption…and too many people with their head in the sand.
City Needs More Doctors to Care for Latino Population, Panel Says
Huh? Wut? There’s nothing BUT doctors around here in the land of geriatrics. Amilcar Arroyo says according to the Speaker that ‘doctors may have to adapt to the customs of their patients who are Latinos.’ Huh? Wut? Huh? Look the doctors around here gotta just start charging less (which ain’t gonna happen) and I dunno what you need to do to accommodate Hispanic patients. What do they all have a third arm hidden under their shirts to make them more efficient factory slaves? That’s just stupid! Unless they’re not human, there should be no special requirements for medical care. And the doctors gotta learn Spanish? Granted learning a new language is open-minded, and Hazleton Pravda encourages expanding ones intellect, but hey folks, that goes both ways. Perhaps Latino patients should LEARN English? Huh? Habla ingles? Quiero a trabajar? Entonces, habla ingles! New ideas? If you go to France (and by the by don’t go to France) they expect YOU to speak French. You wanna come to Hazleton then learn CoalCracker with all it’s ‘henna’s and ‘pitza’s! Hazleton Pravda does support the Hispanic population as a new wave of immigration of a town and area built on immigrant’s hard labor, however these past generations of immigrant waves were required to Americanize and adapt to American culture. Hazleton Pravda feels that this novel concept should continue with new waves of immigrants learning the language of English and assimilating to American culture if they wish to reap the reward of the American Empire.
Two Charged in Slaying
‘Cops: Men in country illegally, dealt drugs’ according to the Speaker. This is Hazleton. There’s no money unless you’re selling something to make people FORGET that they ARE in Hazleton. Why doesn’t anyone get that? Or selling cigarettes. They’re OK to proliferate! Doy! These guys were filling a niche and the guy they shot evidently didn’t hold up his end of the bargain to their liking.
Police Plan to Continue Intensive Patrols (Continued from Above)
Now we thought that only the Japanese liked to mobilize. But they DO have to contend with Gojira. We only have to worry about greedy old white men who continue to strip mine this area of all it’s skin and bone and their greasy lapdogs that make it happen, oh and all the inner-city crime that the powers that be welcomed here with open arms hoping for a cheap slave-labor to pool from. Are we making this point clear enough for everyone?
But I guess any excuse for police in Hazleton to shake down the poor and weary denizens is just THAT a nice chance for Hazleton police to drive around and shake down the locals and bother mostly innocent people trying to survive in this ghetto we call home.
HASD Subpoenaed for Building Projects Records
It’s about time they got called on the carpet. Anyone wanna take bets on how many backdoor deals are uncovered? More to the point anyone wanna bet we, the denizens of *trumpets please* The Greater Hazleton Area!!!!! will never hear the true back story to all these nefarious building and rebuilding projects, not to mention the foot-dragging?
And now a word from the John Medashefski for Mayor Camp
“I just wanted to say that I sowed my oats and I matured. There will be no connections—No strings! The only connection I have is to the people—It’s [going to be] WE not ME!”
Coming Soon: “Now You See It…Stories From Cokesville, PA” by Bathsheba Monk
Madam Monk was kind enough to send an early copy of her collection of short stories to us at Hazleton Pravda, the book that outraged people in Tamaqua, which amused us here at HP very much. Her book will be out for the public on June 1st in bookstores. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! We will be having our staff do a review soon. Keep reading!
And one final note: DONATIONS! Look to your right PEOPLE! All you cheap bastards; Dig down in your pockets and help support Hazleton Pravda. You love us? You read us? Then support us! Even YOU, Mayor Lou (Hey! That rhymes!). We know you check the site out daily! Drop some change why dontcha?
—Gombeggar, Editor
—Gombeggar, Editor
Protests at Hazleton Mall Cinema
—By Scoop Donkey, Contributing Writer
The DaVinci Code as a film has brought local Christian Zealots out of their cumbersome world in outrage, or at least it did last Saturday night at Hoyts Cinema at the Laurel Mall. Small children perhaps eight or ten in black pants, white shirts and black ties were pressed into service of a religion they can’t possibly be old enough to comprehend let alone debate and protest. That’s the sick part: young impressionable children being dogmatized by their elders who are aghast at ideas about a two thousand year religion that is practiced almost entirely wrongly (as most religions are) by much of its splintered groups all claiming to be the ‘right’ or ‘correct’ religion of Christ. There is no hope for the blindsided. If you are so threatened in your beliefs by a work of fiction that was in fact an awful movie anyway, then there is little emancipation for you, the small-minded Christian. I did not enjoy the movie as you had to have sat through every gawd-awful DaVinci documentary from the History channel, The National Geographic channel and all those in between plus read a few books to know what the fuck was going on. That’s a lot of work for to see a movie, dontcha think? But even though I left halfway through the film, because I know the ending—Christ got the chop in the end no matter what—the high point of my amusement was when one of the young brainwashed zealot children came into the theater and proclaimed how we all needed to be saved on account of watching this movie. Well, one movie-goer shouted “Go to Hell!” I found that wryly amusing. Then the youth was pulled out by security. Funny thing religion. When you take it at face value and do not question it unequivicalibly then you start to listen to foolish things and the next thing ya know you are driving a plane into somebody’s skyscraper. Think about it.
Who’s Next?
“Super-Lou, don’t quit your day job!”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
How can we NOT jump on this? ‘Who’s Next’ IS one of the better albums by The Who, but it is one stupid decree from city hall. “I suggest if anybody in Hazleton is involved in drug sales, they need to leave or they will be visited. Who’s next?” —Mayor Lou according to the Standard Speaker.
Well, there’s so much wrong with this. A series of drug raids according to the Speaker? Now everyone should know that the powers that be NEVER bust anyone but the low man on the rope. The big shots never get hit, because the powers that be WANT drugs to come in to keep the factory slaves in check. What probably happened in this SERIES of drug bust is that once again the proper hands weren’t greased. The powers that be get easily upset if they haven’t got their hands in everyone’s till. Far be it that someone might actually turn a profit around here and not give their due. Yeah, drugs are a commodity like any other. Don’t be foolish and think otherwise. And OBVIOUSLY there is a need to distract ones-self in this miserable town from the drudgery of slave labor and poor wages. Ya gotta self medicate to exist here!
The Romans called it bread and circuses, and ya know every once in a while they too blocked the streets and sent some denizens to the slaughter like lambs. The same thing goes on here in Hazleton, with a very poor façade to cover the truth, that drugs aren’t gonna stop coming in when all those on top of this heap are making money at it with kickbacks. So while Mayor Lou was all cameras and smiles, he has little to be slapping himself on the back as another small man gets pummeled and taken to the ninth degree of the law for trying to make a little cash in a niche that is secretly condoned, and probably trying to cover his own needs to get through the day as well, while REAL traffickers keep safe and high and mighty in this crooked land of Hazleton. Oh, and ya gotta love the Speakers second pic for the news that day on the front page, Friday May 19th…Ya got Mayor Lou looking all important staring up into outer space whilst in the middle of the police and the one guy is just looking at Mayor Lou as if to say, “What the Hell are you doing here? We’re trying to work here!” By the way, did the Speaker get enough happy pictures of people being oppressed by Hazleton police? Oh and that sign they left on the premises of the shop they ‘closed’…’Sorry…They’re out of business. If you sell drugs you lose.’ The owners will probably be unjustly charged for the sign, and admonished for not paying the proper kickbacks to the right folks…Then they’ll be back in business on another street in a few weeks time. THINK ABOUT THAT PEOPLE! And keep in mind that Hazleton NEEDS all the revenue it can get. Closing businesses doesn’t help anyone unless ya want MORE senseless factories to swallow this area. Do you?
Bottom line is they (the powers that be) brought the drugs, the inner-city folk and all of it…and it blew up in their small-minded faces!
Graffiti Mars Pine Street Area
One street gets tagged and there is an epidemic of inner-city crime? Grow up Hazleton. Ya bring in metro people and you get metro life. Go get a bucket and a sponge if it bugs ya so much! Or just hide behind your curtains while the powers that be make all your decisions for you!
County Baseball Money Still on Bench
Not enough greenbacks and grease? So now cuz everyone has to be so petty (Hazleton as usual) the kids are gonna suffer cuz these yokels can’t get their heads outta their asses. Think about the kids for gawd sake!
Crestwood’s Hiring of Maintenance Firm Angers Some
And well it should. Plenty of jobs are gonna be out-sourced now when there are capable folks in this area that could use a job in maintenance and have the skills and the know-how. Why is this area always trying to shot itself in the foot and give everyone else are hard working dollars? You got to think of your own folks first.
Directors Revamp Effort to Amend HASD Hiring Policy
Now it will NOT ONLY be a question of who you know and who ya spread for. Now you’ll have to account at least three generations back that you have a hazleton deigo in your family heritage?
Lame Ducks
Lame politicians, lame area…too many kick backs…too much corruption…and too many people with their head in the sand.
City Needs More Doctors to Care for Latino Population, Panel Says
Huh? Wut? There’s nothing BUT doctors around here in the land of geriatrics. Amilcar Arroyo says according to the Speaker that ‘doctors may have to adapt to the customs of their patients who are Latinos.’ Huh? Wut? Huh? Look the doctors around here gotta just start charging less (which ain’t gonna happen) and I dunno what you need to do to accommodate Hispanic patients. What do they all have a third arm hidden under their shirts to make them more efficient factory slaves? That’s just stupid! Unless they’re not human, there should be no special requirements for medical care. And the doctors gotta learn Spanish? Granted learning a new language is open-minded, and Hazleton Pravda encourages expanding ones intellect, but hey folks, that goes both ways. Perhaps Latino patients should LEARN English? Huh? Habla ingles? Quiero a trabajar? Entonces, habla ingles! New ideas? If you go to France (and by the by don’t go to France) they expect YOU to speak French. You wanna come to Hazleton then learn CoalCracker with all it’s ‘henna’s and ‘pitza’s! Hazleton Pravda does support the Hispanic population as a new wave of immigration of a town and area built on immigrant’s hard labor, however these past generations of immigrant waves were required to Americanize and adapt to American culture. Hazleton Pravda feels that this novel concept should continue with new waves of immigrants learning the language of English and assimilating to American culture if they wish to reap the reward of the American Empire.
Two Charged in Slaying
‘Cops: Men in country illegally, dealt drugs’ according to the Speaker. This is Hazleton. There’s no money unless you’re selling something to make people FORGET that they ARE in Hazleton. Why doesn’t anyone get that? Or selling cigarettes. They’re OK to proliferate! Doy! These guys were filling a niche and the guy they shot evidently didn’t hold up his end of the bargain to their liking.
Police Plan to Continue Intensive Patrols (Continued from Above)
Now we thought that only the Japanese liked to mobilize. But they DO have to contend with Gojira. We only have to worry about greedy old white men who continue to strip mine this area of all it’s skin and bone and their greasy lapdogs that make it happen, oh and all the inner-city crime that the powers that be welcomed here with open arms hoping for a cheap slave-labor to pool from. Are we making this point clear enough for everyone?
But I guess any excuse for police in Hazleton to shake down the poor and weary denizens is just THAT a nice chance for Hazleton police to drive around and shake down the locals and bother mostly innocent people trying to survive in this ghetto we call home.
HASD Subpoenaed for Building Projects Records
It’s about time they got called on the carpet. Anyone wanna take bets on how many backdoor deals are uncovered? More to the point anyone wanna bet we, the denizens of *trumpets please* The Greater Hazleton Area!!!!! will never hear the true back story to all these nefarious building and rebuilding projects, not to mention the foot-dragging?
And now a word from the John Medashefski for Mayor Camp
“I just wanted to say that I sowed my oats and I matured. There will be no connections—No strings! The only connection I have is to the people—It’s [going to be] WE not ME!”
Coming Soon: “Now You See It…Stories From Cokesville, PA” by Bathsheba Monk
Madam Monk was kind enough to send an early copy of her collection of short stories to us at Hazleton Pravda, the book that outraged people in Tamaqua, which amused us here at HP very much. Her book will be out for the public on June 1st in bookstores. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! We will be having our staff do a review soon. Keep reading!
And one final note: DONATIONS! Look to your right PEOPLE! All you cheap bastards; Dig down in your pockets and help support Hazleton Pravda. You love us? You read us? Then support us! Even YOU, Mayor Lou (Hey! That rhymes!). We know you check the site out daily! Drop some change why dontcha?
—Gombeggar, Editor
Comments:
Post a Comment
