Monday, July 12, 2004
Chaser - Freedom from Hangovers
A Review from Institute Councilman Gulag Oluka-
I finally tried "Chaser - Freedom From Hangovers" last nite. It is supposed to absorb the harmful elements of alcohol and decrease or eliminate hangovers. I am here to tell you....it didnt do shit! With a price tag around $6 for 10 caplets, it sucks bad, especially when you read the directions and realize you can easily take 8 on a decent binge nite. I had 6 with a 12 pack of Coors original last nite (per directions) in 3 hours, so it was an above average nite of boozing for me. I woke up this morning feeling just as bad if not worse as if I had taken nothing! Ibuprofen does a better job. I never get what Id call a "hangover" from beer, but feel groggy and have what I call "stupid head" for several hours after waking up where you just cant think clearly. Today was no exception, perhaps even a bit worse because I didnt take my usual 8 or 12 ibuprofen over the course of the nite. Dont waste your money, put it towards another 6 pack!!
Thanx Gulag
ATV Rider Found Dead in Hazle
Well, accidents DO happen, but I’d like to state that far too many bunyouks* in the area zip around on ATVs and dirt bikes. A good number of these people are stupid beyond belief too. Just because you can do a thing (like riding off-road in the strippin’s) doesn’t mean you always should. If you’re not prepared to show some responsibility then just like rules for automobiles you shouldn’t have the right to do traffic the back roads and the woods such as we have around here. If people would take the time to be responsible much less of the accidents will occur. Think! It’s the smart thing to do.
Bunyouk –Any person behaving stupid or foolishly; Not thinking; Perfect denizen of The Greater Hazleton Area. See also moron.
Freeland Man Killed in Accident
See previous rant above.
Wyoming Street Kiosk Closer Then Ever
Mayor Lou got the ball rolling, now Hazleton Police will have somewhere to hide and slack off even more. We don’t need a police substation. We don’t need more police. Or patrol cars. The Hispanic Question is not any real problem, but a scapegoat for the powers-that-be to draw attention away from all their underhanded backdoor dealings that are TRULY ruining this area!
License Plate Cliiping
Somebody found a way to beat the system. Clipping the corners off license plate to get the registration sticker sounds pretty dumb to me, however on closer inspection it points again to the masses being so bogged down with bills and tariffs that they have to resort to these means to get by or make a fast buck. Let’s face it a factory slave job don’t cut it despite all the wondrous endorsements CANT DO gives to factory slavery. If it wasn’t such a hassle and expense to maintain a vehicle and its paperwork just to go to work to slave your life away to come home to rest to then get up and do it all over again then people wouldn’t need to swipe others’ registration stickers!
Bush Visits Kutztown
I don’t know what’s dumber: Bush going to Kutztown or just the name…Kutztown. What the hell could Bush have to say anyway? The man almost makes our local politicians (see also crooked morons) look like…well, real politicians! Even staunch Republicans at the Institute don’t wanna vote for him!
Man allegedly Beat 2-Year-Old with Phone
Well, I can’t say Pravda condones this. It doesn’t in anyway. And if in fact the man did this he should be met with a punishment suitable to the crime. But I will say that children in the Terrible Twos are just that, Terrible!
CrimeWatch Taking a Stand
People in Hazleton are scared…and stupid. Don’t forget stupid. The influx of Hispanics (and other nationalities) in the latest wave of emigration into the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area is an excuse by the powers-that-be to hide their own illicit dealings and make Joe Hazleton afraid of the ALIENS! Didn’t Hitler do something similar in the thirties? Don’t the Israelis do that today?
KAMA Blows its Lid
Plastics and Hazleton, such a perfect blend, like the old high school science project. Ya mix vinegar and baking soda and ya get a volcano. The Standard Speaker makes mention of concerns of toxic vapors. HA! The whole damn place is full of toxic vapors 24/7! Just ask anyone (on the QT, of course)! The place reeks of burnt plastic. That’s why it’s been in Hazleton and running for decades! When ya got people being run into the ground on freak swing-shifts dead on their feet working for blood money to just about make their house bills, being dead-tired zombies they [people] will make mistakes! I’m just surprised anyone noticed over the industrial noise in the building and the regular plumes of smelly plastic smoke sent up into the air.
Playground Surveillance
The city of Hazleton doesn’t want to pay out big bucks to recreation department workers to watch local playgrounds and keep them safe from the big bad Hispanic threat! They want the local police to do it. Well, good! Give the cops something to do beside waste the time of people in local traffic because it’s the end (or beginning) of the month. You know what I mean! Hey that’s sort of likened to COP PMS! Disgusting!
Pantry Quik Robbed (Again!)
They keep robbing these places in Hazleton where there’s virtually no money. Did the guy (or girl?) hold them up for a carton of smokes? There’s nothing in Hazleton to steal. The powers-that-be and CANT DO have already taken everything NOT nailed down and funneled into homes in the Poconos where the insulation is in increments of twenties and fifties in the basement and den and hundreds up into the other floors reaching into the roof eaves! Let me NOT forget to mention the WVIA public television is doing the same! Hey! PBS! I want my thirty-dollar membership fee back! Ya never put the damn show on that I wanted anyway! And I want interest back too!
Briggs Farm Blues Festival
That was just over the weekend. I missed it. Dammit! But Jimmy Christman (of Roads End fame) was the honorable MC (Master of Chicken!) for the weekend. Ain’t it funny how to do anything in Hazleton, you have to LEAVE Hazleton?
Another Month, Another Panoramay-in-the-ass!
The July issue of Panorama is out folks (OLD FOLKS, I MEAN). So all you old bittys better run out and grab them up so you can relive the glories of burned out mine towns (that are still in use today because nothing ever changes around here!) and read accounts of geriatric loons swooning for the good old days of slate pickin’ and grass eatin’ and owning your own goat cuz it don’t gets no better then that!
A Review from Institute Councilman Gulag Oluka-
I finally tried "Chaser - Freedom From Hangovers" last nite. It is supposed to absorb the harmful elements of alcohol and decrease or eliminate hangovers. I am here to tell you....it didnt do shit! With a price tag around $6 for 10 caplets, it sucks bad, especially when you read the directions and realize you can easily take 8 on a decent binge nite. I had 6 with a 12 pack of Coors original last nite (per directions) in 3 hours, so it was an above average nite of boozing for me. I woke up this morning feeling just as bad if not worse as if I had taken nothing! Ibuprofen does a better job. I never get what Id call a "hangover" from beer, but feel groggy and have what I call "stupid head" for several hours after waking up where you just cant think clearly. Today was no exception, perhaps even a bit worse because I didnt take my usual 8 or 12 ibuprofen over the course of the nite. Dont waste your money, put it towards another 6 pack!!
Thanx Gulag
ATV Rider Found Dead in Hazle
Well, accidents DO happen, but I’d like to state that far too many bunyouks* in the area zip around on ATVs and dirt bikes. A good number of these people are stupid beyond belief too. Just because you can do a thing (like riding off-road in the strippin’s) doesn’t mean you always should. If you’re not prepared to show some responsibility then just like rules for automobiles you shouldn’t have the right to do traffic the back roads and the woods such as we have around here. If people would take the time to be responsible much less of the accidents will occur. Think! It’s the smart thing to do.
Bunyouk –Any person behaving stupid or foolishly; Not thinking; Perfect denizen of The Greater Hazleton Area. See also moron.
Freeland Man Killed in Accident
See previous rant above.
Wyoming Street Kiosk Closer Then Ever
Mayor Lou got the ball rolling, now Hazleton Police will have somewhere to hide and slack off even more. We don’t need a police substation. We don’t need more police. Or patrol cars. The Hispanic Question is not any real problem, but a scapegoat for the powers-that-be to draw attention away from all their underhanded backdoor dealings that are TRULY ruining this area!
License Plate Cliiping
Somebody found a way to beat the system. Clipping the corners off license plate to get the registration sticker sounds pretty dumb to me, however on closer inspection it points again to the masses being so bogged down with bills and tariffs that they have to resort to these means to get by or make a fast buck. Let’s face it a factory slave job don’t cut it despite all the wondrous endorsements CANT DO gives to factory slavery. If it wasn’t such a hassle and expense to maintain a vehicle and its paperwork just to go to work to slave your life away to come home to rest to then get up and do it all over again then people wouldn’t need to swipe others’ registration stickers!
Bush Visits Kutztown
I don’t know what’s dumber: Bush going to Kutztown or just the name…Kutztown. What the hell could Bush have to say anyway? The man almost makes our local politicians (see also crooked morons) look like…well, real politicians! Even staunch Republicans at the Institute don’t wanna vote for him!
Man allegedly Beat 2-Year-Old with Phone
Well, I can’t say Pravda condones this. It doesn’t in anyway. And if in fact the man did this he should be met with a punishment suitable to the crime. But I will say that children in the Terrible Twos are just that, Terrible!
CrimeWatch Taking a Stand
People in Hazleton are scared…and stupid. Don’t forget stupid. The influx of Hispanics (and other nationalities) in the latest wave of emigration into the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area is an excuse by the powers-that-be to hide their own illicit dealings and make Joe Hazleton afraid of the ALIENS! Didn’t Hitler do something similar in the thirties? Don’t the Israelis do that today?
KAMA Blows its Lid
Plastics and Hazleton, such a perfect blend, like the old high school science project. Ya mix vinegar and baking soda and ya get a volcano. The Standard Speaker makes mention of concerns of toxic vapors. HA! The whole damn place is full of toxic vapors 24/7! Just ask anyone (on the QT, of course)! The place reeks of burnt plastic. That’s why it’s been in Hazleton and running for decades! When ya got people being run into the ground on freak swing-shifts dead on their feet working for blood money to just about make their house bills, being dead-tired zombies they [people] will make mistakes! I’m just surprised anyone noticed over the industrial noise in the building and the regular plumes of smelly plastic smoke sent up into the air.
Playground Surveillance
The city of Hazleton doesn’t want to pay out big bucks to recreation department workers to watch local playgrounds and keep them safe from the big bad Hispanic threat! They want the local police to do it. Well, good! Give the cops something to do beside waste the time of people in local traffic because it’s the end (or beginning) of the month. You know what I mean! Hey that’s sort of likened to COP PMS! Disgusting!
Pantry Quik Robbed (Again!)
They keep robbing these places in Hazleton where there’s virtually no money. Did the guy (or girl?) hold them up for a carton of smokes? There’s nothing in Hazleton to steal. The powers-that-be and CANT DO have already taken everything NOT nailed down and funneled into homes in the Poconos where the insulation is in increments of twenties and fifties in the basement and den and hundreds up into the other floors reaching into the roof eaves! Let me NOT forget to mention the WVIA public television is doing the same! Hey! PBS! I want my thirty-dollar membership fee back! Ya never put the damn show on that I wanted anyway! And I want interest back too!
Briggs Farm Blues Festival
That was just over the weekend. I missed it. Dammit! But Jimmy Christman (of Roads End fame) was the honorable MC (Master of Chicken!) for the weekend. Ain’t it funny how to do anything in Hazleton, you have to LEAVE Hazleton?
Another Month, Another Panoramay-in-the-ass!
The July issue of Panorama is out folks (OLD FOLKS, I MEAN). So all you old bittys better run out and grab them up so you can relive the glories of burned out mine towns (that are still in use today because nothing ever changes around here!) and read accounts of geriatric loons swooning for the good old days of slate pickin’ and grass eatin’ and owning your own goat cuz it don’t gets no better then that!
