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Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Here are a couple items graciously sent to us by our sibling publication, The Institute Bulletin. Don't forget to check them out on the webring!

A focus on the 'N Word'
Here in the Greater Hazleton Area the term 'nigger' is not racist, nor is it a hip reverse-discriminatory slang. Here it is more a derogatory description generally applied to the hopeless slavish working class regardless of race. As a result Hazleton and its stagnancy influenced surroundings might be the only place on earth where you can find Polish-niggers, Hungarian-niggers, Indian-niggers, Irish-niggers, Puerto Rican-niggers, Austrian-niggers, African-American-niggers, Vietnamese-niggers, and a ton of other hyphenated-niggers side by side, bonded together in endlessly toil. Trapped together in Hazleton's mafioso-gulag tar pit like melting pot, working away in the hellish factories that produce three-year garbage*. Their keepers growing wealthy and obese on their labor, wasting their lives churning the world into garbage for the temporary economic elevation of the few.

* Three-Year Garbage- Typical factory product of the Hazleton Area characterized by being barely practical, generically designed, terribly fragile, overly disposable, and planned obsolescent. Thusly what is product today is garbage tomorrow, or landfill within three years.

Pennsylvania OKs slot machines
Here's a lark. I don't know what's worse, the gullibility of the Pennsylvanian citizenry or the arrogance of it's government. The very notion that one-armed bandits are gonna lower property taxes, help education, or the old bullshit of benefiting senior citizens is mind-blowing. I suppose the backward peasantry of PA deserves another fleecing. The money this will generate comes directly from those it is supposed to help, the poor and the ignorant majority. Taxes will not decline, the schools are already corrupt money pits, and saying healthcare of the elderly is a joke is a gross understatement. However you are swallowing these promises whole, reveling in your stupidity, this Idiot Tax will not help you, but a large percentage will line the pockets and buy outside state real estate for PA's overlords [read politicians]. The wolf waits at your door, and you voted for him.

Thanks Kaph!





Sunday, July 04, 2004

Happy 4th of July from Hazleton Pravda

Just a word of caution…if you’re gonna get loaded, get good-n-krunked, or polluted in anyway then just remember to aim the fireworks away from your self!

Hazleton Woman Crashes into Bank

A seventy-some year old woman who should obviously have her driving privileges revoked smashes into a downtown bank because according to the police report her foot ‘became stuck’ on the accelerator. The Standard Speaker has no mention of any citations. I don’t even have to bet that if it were anyone who was not retired and did this there would be a list of charges nine miles long and ten miles wide. But then Hazleton caters to the old and feeble. That’s another one of those public secrets we at Hazleton Pravda keep noticing again and again. The double-standards around here are sickening!

Fireworks Last Friday at Harmen-Geist

Every year they do the same fireworks show. It is one of the few returns the city gives to the public, but I just found it silly that they claimed this year’s fireworks display was gonna be bigger then ever. It didn’t seem all that much more spectacular, in fact it seemed a bit shorter then previous years. Now if they’d have blown up city hall in a brilliant light show or made some patrol cars into incandescent torches that would have been cool, that would symbolize freedom.

Eachus Edits Laws

Todd Eachus is amending laws concerning people providing alcohol to minors. As long as no one gets hurt there is no real reason to worry about youth experimentation. The kids will do it one way or another, but the Greater Hazleton Area Drug Free Task Force (Whew! That’s a mouthful) had to stick there noses in and remind everyone that we’re all bad! “You’re bad. So are you. You, you’re bad too. I knows cuz I’m judgemental!” Hey, if the kids can’t control themselves while experimenting then its more their own fault then anyone else’s.

Slot Machines & School Breaks

They’re really pushing these slot machines in PA. I don’t think this should be connected to schooling budget problems though. It is the school district’s own fault that money is NOT being budgeted correctly, bedding this problem with a push to get gambling into the state is a bad idea.

HASD Gets $139G in Grants

Do metal detectors and guard dogs cost this much? Or is that the brokering for the new cigarette machines in the teacher lounges?

Mayor Lou on TV

Mayor Lou was only too happy to tell TV reporters how wonderful it is SUPPOSED to be in Hazleton. Bet he’s still pissed about that newspaper reporter who spent a whole day in Hazleton before going home and announcing to the country that Hazleton sucks, and it does, ya know?


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