Saturday, December 18, 2004
Local News 13 Best Narks in Town
Not only has the state of Pennsyltucky awarded these bootlicking script reading Hazleton propagators for their HELP assisting police to further oppress the slaved masses of Hazleton, but they have the gall to toot their own horn proudly with a commercial spot on their broadcasting station. The damn thing runs just about every commercial break! They use stock footage of local police of which there must be miles of such footage laying around in their editing room, yes footage of Hazleton police in all their glorious riot gear and such barging into people’s homes. And there is a wonderful voice-over to this disgusting display telling how Local News 13 has been singled out by Pennsyltucky officials for duly helping to beat down and trample the local population of Hazleton with their slanted reporting styles. Great job you lapdog bastards who report what the powers that be want you to say! Go ahead and be proud knowing that you are part of the problem NOT the solution!
You see Local News 13 is only helping to add to the vicious cycle of Hazleton being run by the same old people in the same old way. They are the voice of those that don’t want to see anybody in this town get ahead. They are the harbingers of whatever rhetoric the powers that be wanna send out to all the Hazleton poor. “See we’re helping to keep you all safe with tons of cops and removals of all your freedoms. Isn’t that great? Say yes!”
City Fire Turns Deadly
Well, Hazleton’s premier flop-house has been gutted by fire. That’s a good thing. This building has evidently been a slum stain for many a years. Hazleton Pravda does however, express condolences for those killed or injured in the fire, poor denizens of the Hazleton area.
Hazleton Pravda can also not help but ponder the idea of Jewish Lightning, or as is appropriate for Hazleton, Diego-Lightning especially with this being so close to the end of the year. In all fairness it was probably a derelict who fell asleep with a cigarette in bed, but it all still smells of insurance-holiday-a-go-go! It’s business the Hazleton way, kids! Merry Insurance Claims to all and to all a fatt refund!
Thank Gawd it didn’t take down the library. Only three people in Hazleton actually go to the library and one of them is probably dead* and out of them maybe one of them does more then look at the pictures, but it IS the only source of culture in this blighted land.
Note: People in Hazleton die all the time, but it’s so hard to tell with the miserable standards of living, that most just keep wandering around dragging their decaying corpses back to the factory every day anyway. And of course factory supervisors are only too happy to put them to work knowing full and well they ain’t gotta pay the dead. That’s a CANT DO rule, ya know? Yeah, originally too many deadbeat corpses were slipping by and still getting paychecks. Now all that’s been changed. As soon as you hit the obituaries your place of employment is notified. You’re still allowed to work, but they’ll be damned (as if they aren’t gonna be anyway) if they’re gonna pay a dead person for his toil. They may even put a lien on your estate (if you’re dead or not).
Hazleton Council Passes EMST
This is outrageous! That should be all need be said here. It’s xmas in Hazleton so the powers that be found a way to squeeze more dollars out of the dead-dry town of Hazleton in order to insulate the walls of city hall! They’re gonna get rid of the right to work tax of $10 which is an ignorant tariff to begin with and replace it with this Emergency…oh wait…*trumpets please* Emergency and Municipal Services Tax! What emergency? Did Mayor Lou break a nine iron while shirking his mayorly duties in order to hob-knob and ass kiss his way up the political ladder? Does somebody need a new Mercedes on council? What’s the big emergency? There is no emergency except some people that are the powers that be wanna fatten up their xmas bonuses and se a few more gifts under their tree this year, that’s all.
And just who came up with this wonderful scheme? Nobody here at Pravda was sitting around going “wouldn’t it be great if we could just pay forty-some more dollars into Hazleton deep pockets for the joyous and gratifying ability to slave in a CANT DO factory.” REALLY, no one at Pravda said this, REALLY!
People are robbing convenient marts and doing drugs because they’re tired, poor and beat down. So it only makes sense to try and squeeze a few more dollars out of everyone. I mean jobs in Hazleton pay SOOOOOOOOOOO well after all. EVERYONE has disposable cash in Hazleton after they sell their underwear for a dollar and recycle all their beer cans that is!
Ahh, it’s such a satisfying life in Hazleton as long as yer on the TOP of the slate bank!
Naturally Mayor Lou is funneling a big chunk of this money to the police because there is such rampant crime in Hazleton, but don’t worry they’ll be kick-backs for everyone down the line of command!
Area Gas Prices Fall
Gas goes down (according to the Speaker) taxes go up (without the common man being able to do a damn thing). It’s ALL GOOD in Hazleton!
Mayor Dines With Bush
Boy, Mayor Lou’s been burying his nose deep lately. If any of these people that he’s trying to get in the good with ever pull up their pants he’s liable to suffocate.
Dines with the President, huh? Probably bought a $13,000 diner plate just to get in the door (courtesy of the broken backs of Hazleton labor) of this hoopla get together and then was sitting way in the back holding his head down hoping that Bush didn’t blast him again for the poor roads and potholes in Hazleton again! Then again he IS a Hazletonian. He may have been trying to flag the commander and chief down in an attempt to get Ridge’s job or something.
Contacting CAN DO
This site is another appalling example of self-promotion just dripping with lies about how great it is to work in Hazleton and just how much CANT DO is doing for you
Email here: cando@hazletoncando.com Tell them what a blast you’re having slaving away for their betterment.
Hazleton Pravda's "Write a Letter to OSHA" Campaign
Whether your workplace is full of working hazards, chemical No-nos, or is the safest damn place to work in the world, we at HP would like to encourage all of you to write OSHA anonymously or otherwise and put Hazleton Area production facilities on their map! How's that grab your ballz?
--Thanks to Doynar Yar Contributing Writer
One last point from Pravda today:
Medical Transcription IS NOT second to being a doctor, and the medical field WOULD NOT collapse if medical transcriptions suddenly disappeared off the face of the Earth, or by their tonnage were swallowed up by the Earth. It is just comparable to all the pyramid schemes that go on in Hazleton. Think GULAG work at home with a keyboard and never leave unless you can sucker someone to sub out the work to!
Not only has the state of Pennsyltucky awarded these bootlicking script reading Hazleton propagators for their HELP assisting police to further oppress the slaved masses of Hazleton, but they have the gall to toot their own horn proudly with a commercial spot on their broadcasting station. The damn thing runs just about every commercial break! They use stock footage of local police of which there must be miles of such footage laying around in their editing room, yes footage of Hazleton police in all their glorious riot gear and such barging into people’s homes. And there is a wonderful voice-over to this disgusting display telling how Local News 13 has been singled out by Pennsyltucky officials for duly helping to beat down and trample the local population of Hazleton with their slanted reporting styles. Great job you lapdog bastards who report what the powers that be want you to say! Go ahead and be proud knowing that you are part of the problem NOT the solution!
You see Local News 13 is only helping to add to the vicious cycle of Hazleton being run by the same old people in the same old way. They are the voice of those that don’t want to see anybody in this town get ahead. They are the harbingers of whatever rhetoric the powers that be wanna send out to all the Hazleton poor. “See we’re helping to keep you all safe with tons of cops and removals of all your freedoms. Isn’t that great? Say yes!”
City Fire Turns Deadly
Well, Hazleton’s premier flop-house has been gutted by fire. That’s a good thing. This building has evidently been a slum stain for many a years. Hazleton Pravda does however, express condolences for those killed or injured in the fire, poor denizens of the Hazleton area.
Hazleton Pravda can also not help but ponder the idea of Jewish Lightning, or as is appropriate for Hazleton, Diego-Lightning especially with this being so close to the end of the year. In all fairness it was probably a derelict who fell asleep with a cigarette in bed, but it all still smells of insurance-holiday-a-go-go! It’s business the Hazleton way, kids! Merry Insurance Claims to all and to all a fatt refund!
Thank Gawd it didn’t take down the library. Only three people in Hazleton actually go to the library and one of them is probably dead* and out of them maybe one of them does more then look at the pictures, but it IS the only source of culture in this blighted land.
Note: People in Hazleton die all the time, but it’s so hard to tell with the miserable standards of living, that most just keep wandering around dragging their decaying corpses back to the factory every day anyway. And of course factory supervisors are only too happy to put them to work knowing full and well they ain’t gotta pay the dead. That’s a CANT DO rule, ya know? Yeah, originally too many deadbeat corpses were slipping by and still getting paychecks. Now all that’s been changed. As soon as you hit the obituaries your place of employment is notified. You’re still allowed to work, but they’ll be damned (as if they aren’t gonna be anyway) if they’re gonna pay a dead person for his toil. They may even put a lien on your estate (if you’re dead or not).
Hazleton Council Passes EMST
This is outrageous! That should be all need be said here. It’s xmas in Hazleton so the powers that be found a way to squeeze more dollars out of the dead-dry town of Hazleton in order to insulate the walls of city hall! They’re gonna get rid of the right to work tax of $10 which is an ignorant tariff to begin with and replace it with this Emergency…oh wait…*trumpets please* Emergency and Municipal Services Tax! What emergency? Did Mayor Lou break a nine iron while shirking his mayorly duties in order to hob-knob and ass kiss his way up the political ladder? Does somebody need a new Mercedes on council? What’s the big emergency? There is no emergency except some people that are the powers that be wanna fatten up their xmas bonuses and se a few more gifts under their tree this year, that’s all.
And just who came up with this wonderful scheme? Nobody here at Pravda was sitting around going “wouldn’t it be great if we could just pay forty-some more dollars into Hazleton deep pockets for the joyous and gratifying ability to slave in a CANT DO factory.” REALLY, no one at Pravda said this, REALLY!
People are robbing convenient marts and doing drugs because they’re tired, poor and beat down. So it only makes sense to try and squeeze a few more dollars out of everyone. I mean jobs in Hazleton pay SOOOOOOOOOOO well after all. EVERYONE has disposable cash in Hazleton after they sell their underwear for a dollar and recycle all their beer cans that is!
Ahh, it’s such a satisfying life in Hazleton as long as yer on the TOP of the slate bank!
Naturally Mayor Lou is funneling a big chunk of this money to the police because there is such rampant crime in Hazleton, but don’t worry they’ll be kick-backs for everyone down the line of command!
Area Gas Prices Fall
Gas goes down (according to the Speaker) taxes go up (without the common man being able to do a damn thing). It’s ALL GOOD in Hazleton!
Mayor Dines With Bush
Boy, Mayor Lou’s been burying his nose deep lately. If any of these people that he’s trying to get in the good with ever pull up their pants he’s liable to suffocate.
Dines with the President, huh? Probably bought a $13,000 diner plate just to get in the door (courtesy of the broken backs of Hazleton labor) of this hoopla get together and then was sitting way in the back holding his head down hoping that Bush didn’t blast him again for the poor roads and potholes in Hazleton again! Then again he IS a Hazletonian. He may have been trying to flag the commander and chief down in an attempt to get Ridge’s job or something.
Contacting CAN DO
This site is another appalling example of self-promotion just dripping with lies about how great it is to work in Hazleton and just how much CANT DO is doing for you
Email here: cando@hazletoncando.com Tell them what a blast you’re having slaving away for their betterment.
Hazleton Pravda's "Write a Letter to OSHA" Campaign
Whether your workplace is full of working hazards, chemical No-nos, or is the safest damn place to work in the world, we at HP would like to encourage all of you to write OSHA anonymously or otherwise and put Hazleton Area production facilities on their map! How's that grab your ballz?
--Thanks to Doynar Yar Contributing Writer
One last point from Pravda today:
Medical Transcription IS NOT second to being a doctor, and the medical field WOULD NOT collapse if medical transcriptions suddenly disappeared off the face of the Earth, or by their tonnage were swallowed up by the Earth. It is just comparable to all the pyramid schemes that go on in Hazleton. Think GULAG work at home with a keyboard and never leave unless you can sucker someone to sub out the work to!
