Friday, May 21, 2004
Remember kiddies...There's room for feedback now. Make your comments, no matter what they are! Weee!
All Roads Lead to Trescow
This doesn't in anyway help any of us, but it is true. It's something to do with the circular nature of this area. All the roads still suck and are full of potholes, but they all do lead to Trescow in a round about way eventually. Sick? Yes, it is.
This doesn't in anyway help any of us, but it is true. It's something to do with the circular nature of this area. All the roads still suck and are full of potholes, but they all do lead to Trescow in a round about way eventually. Sick? Yes, it is.
Emission Testing
As if there isn’t enough of an overhead to maintain your vehicle already, these wonderful new tests will tack on. If the state wants this done then I say let THEM foot the bill! Of course, that ain’t happening kiddies! So the best anyone can offer is to shop around Luzerne County for the cheapest possible deal, and be prepared to drop off your car for the day because it’ll take the better part of day to do all these nonsensical tests. Pretty soon they WILL be having you take your lawn mower in for an inspection. Freaks! They’ll worry about a pound or two of CO2 that your car makes but don’t give a damn at all the millions of tons of air pollutants that are made at Valmont and Humbolt and Crestwood 24/7! But that’s what we call progress. We need factories. Cars are just a PRIVILEDGE! Cars allow you to go to factories, but otherwise they are just taxable liable luxury items. Am I getting warm here? No. I’m just getting pissed off. So, everyone do your best to get through these monetary hikes in every aspect of our lifes.
Luzerne County’s New Budget System
A new plan with old bureaucracy.
Freeland Teacher Wins Powerball
Ol’ Mr. Hauze struck it big.
HASB Has New Budget
$3.3 million dollars, huh? I wonder how much that will go to newer prison facilities on campus? How much is a walk through metal detector anyway? Oh, by the way did we mention that none of the students will have books? Or that pencils are verbotin, as they may be used as weapons? Shoelaces are also forbidden according to the new dress code! Happy learning kids!
Hazleton Catholic Schools Getting Checked Out
The Scranton Diocese is looking to close at least one of the four in Hazleton Holy-Roller Schools. Good! That’s a start, but it’s no where near enough. Education should be in no way connected to organized religion, a thing that corrupts a young impressionable mind with dogma! Stop the madness! God just wants everyone to be nice to each other. That’s simple. Organized religion has to complicate that and uses psuedo-schooling to promote religious agendas!
Retirement Ghetto Coming to Our Area
Just what this area needs another place to concentrate the decaying ones! Insighting the old to move in here in great tribes just makes this dump more of an aged pool of backward thinkers! *laughing hysterically* Let’s make more old folks homes, duh-huh-huh-huh!
Residents Want More Cops
We the people of Hazleton are old and frightened of our shadows. Please give us more officers of oppression so that we can feel safe when we peer out behind our curtains and tremble in fear of the Great Hispanic Plague! *sinister & stupid musak plus polkas* and ya know what? The dumbass fearful denizens of this town will probably get them too. Be careful what ya wish for…
Tamaqua Gonna Get an LCCC
That way more students can be educated in the fine arts of “just enough schooling to get a factory job.” Another great planned part of the “Don’t Leave Hazleton Campaign!”
Fussing Over Libaray Funds
Eachus wants the Hazleton Area School Board to increase contributions to the Hazleton Area Public Library. Doesn’t he understand that that money could be going for more useful things like the HASB SWAT Team for Higher Education and Incarceration? Where’s your head Todd? They don’t need books. They need night sticks and tear gas to educate our youth properly!
CANT BE the Sequel
From the people who brought you CANT DO and have done so much to quell are wills to live anything but the factory-dream are bringing you CANT BE where newer business will be brought in provided they meet the low standards and criteria of kickbacks for the members of CANT DO and the usual powers-that-be of the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area! I wonder if they’ll make it a trilogy with something like CANT HAVE or CANT LEAVE?
EDITOR’S NOTE: There has been some confusion over the links to many of the articles referred to on this block that appeared in the Standard Speaker newspaper. The reason they are linked to the Speaker is to point out firstly that that’s is where the information for many of rants comes from and secondly to point out the ineptness of the Speaker’s website, in typical Hazleton fashion has no information about it’s own articles printed. At one time it had the obituaries listed, but soon removed them the paper decided too many people were not buying this gospel of Hazleton from the newstands. Cheap bastards! Anywho, I hope this clarifies the point to linking constantly to the standard Speaker and any other Hazleton related links that may contain no pertinent information –Gom “Mr. Editor” Beggar
As if there isn’t enough of an overhead to maintain your vehicle already, these wonderful new tests will tack on. If the state wants this done then I say let THEM foot the bill! Of course, that ain’t happening kiddies! So the best anyone can offer is to shop around Luzerne County for the cheapest possible deal, and be prepared to drop off your car for the day because it’ll take the better part of day to do all these nonsensical tests. Pretty soon they WILL be having you take your lawn mower in for an inspection. Freaks! They’ll worry about a pound or two of CO2 that your car makes but don’t give a damn at all the millions of tons of air pollutants that are made at Valmont and Humbolt and Crestwood 24/7! But that’s what we call progress. We need factories. Cars are just a PRIVILEDGE! Cars allow you to go to factories, but otherwise they are just taxable liable luxury items. Am I getting warm here? No. I’m just getting pissed off. So, everyone do your best to get through these monetary hikes in every aspect of our lifes.
Luzerne County’s New Budget System
A new plan with old bureaucracy.
Freeland Teacher Wins Powerball
Ol’ Mr. Hauze struck it big.
HASB Has New Budget
$3.3 million dollars, huh? I wonder how much that will go to newer prison facilities on campus? How much is a walk through metal detector anyway? Oh, by the way did we mention that none of the students will have books? Or that pencils are verbotin, as they may be used as weapons? Shoelaces are also forbidden according to the new dress code! Happy learning kids!
Hazleton Catholic Schools Getting Checked Out
The Scranton Diocese is looking to close at least one of the four in Hazleton Holy-Roller Schools. Good! That’s a start, but it’s no where near enough. Education should be in no way connected to organized religion, a thing that corrupts a young impressionable mind with dogma! Stop the madness! God just wants everyone to be nice to each other. That’s simple. Organized religion has to complicate that and uses psuedo-schooling to promote religious agendas!
Retirement Ghetto Coming to Our Area
Just what this area needs another place to concentrate the decaying ones! Insighting the old to move in here in great tribes just makes this dump more of an aged pool of backward thinkers! *laughing hysterically* Let’s make more old folks homes, duh-huh-huh-huh!
Residents Want More Cops
We the people of Hazleton are old and frightened of our shadows. Please give us more officers of oppression so that we can feel safe when we peer out behind our curtains and tremble in fear of the Great Hispanic Plague! *sinister & stupid musak plus polkas* and ya know what? The dumbass fearful denizens of this town will probably get them too. Be careful what ya wish for…
Tamaqua Gonna Get an LCCC
That way more students can be educated in the fine arts of “just enough schooling to get a factory job.” Another great planned part of the “Don’t Leave Hazleton Campaign!”
Fussing Over Libaray Funds
Eachus wants the Hazleton Area School Board to increase contributions to the Hazleton Area Public Library. Doesn’t he understand that that money could be going for more useful things like the HASB SWAT Team for Higher Education and Incarceration? Where’s your head Todd? They don’t need books. They need night sticks and tear gas to educate our youth properly!
CANT BE the Sequel
From the people who brought you CANT DO and have done so much to quell are wills to live anything but the factory-dream are bringing you CANT BE where newer business will be brought in provided they meet the low standards and criteria of kickbacks for the members of CANT DO and the usual powers-that-be of the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area! I wonder if they’ll make it a trilogy with something like CANT HAVE or CANT LEAVE?
EDITOR’S NOTE: There has been some confusion over the links to many of the articles referred to on this block that appeared in the Standard Speaker newspaper. The reason they are linked to the Speaker is to point out firstly that that’s is where the information for many of rants comes from and secondly to point out the ineptness of the Speaker’s website, in typical Hazleton fashion has no information about it’s own articles printed. At one time it had the obituaries listed, but soon removed them the paper decided too many people were not buying this gospel of Hazleton from the newstands. Cheap bastards! Anywho, I hope this clarifies the point to linking constantly to the standard Speaker and any other Hazleton related links that may contain no pertinent information –Gom “Mr. Editor” Beggar
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Hazleton Pravda is sorry to have been away without updates for sometime, but our staff has been doing its best to research more and better Meat & Potatoes stories to bring to you. Here’s what we found in the quagmire that is *trumpets please* The Greater Hazleton Area!
Drums Reservist Involved in Prisoner Mistreatment.
Figures. People from this area do it all the time. They just can’t seem to function outside this close-knit little time-warped area. Out in the big, big world they behave like violent animals. That guy that killed Dominique Dunne, John David Sweeney. He was a Hazleton native off his mark. People around here got a get a grip on themselves and stop behaving sub-human!
Quiznos Comes to Markle Building
They’ll leave as soon as their lease is up and their free-tax status drops away!
Woman Charged in Freeland Stabbing
Another day, another mutilation. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
PA Reservist First to Be Tried in Prison Scandal
Seems that all the war prisoners were being watched by rabid Pennsyltucky lunatics, hand picked and placed in one single battalion due to psychological problems.
Revised Landlord Law in Hazleton
It appears that someone drew up a proposal that covered all the bases very well. Mayor Lou only wants a ‘bare-bones’ easy to pass one though! Naturally. ‘Hey, just cuz I’m elected to office doesn’t mean I want the do the job! I have pasta to eat!’
Merchandise seized from West Hazleton Business
Some one caught pirating DVDs and other things. Media in all its forms should be FREE to be copied! Well I’d guess the state police now have a really beefed-up film library now. *singing* On to Pirate Video!
Schuylkill Priest & Porn
Another man of the cloth or is that closet? Child porn is just twisted, man!
Simmons Company Comes to Area
Here’s an example of employment scamming where a company comes in offering maybe a few hundred jobs and it makes the locals beg like dogs for a bone. They have this wonderfully long and agonizing scheme of bringing people in on their own time to first a seminar for about two hours then you come back for an interview, a test (how much do you need to know about mattresses?) and drug screen, which is a load of nonsense (If you’re intoxicated on the job that’s one thing, and one thing that HAS to be proven anyway. What you do on your free time as you are only bidding for employment anyway, is your business!). Then after all that, they can still turn you away! So you’ve wasted all your time. The human resource dept don’t care. They’re salary anyway. Either way they get paid. Special thanks to CANT DO for offering us up as slave labor to the mighty cheap companies! Now everyone make sure to rush on down to the Career Center and fill out your application! Stool samples will be taken on your way out.
This was basically what the wonderfully relaxed Career Center had to express to Hazleton pravda about employment at Simmons Company. Careerlink...the only job security in Hazleton!
Drums Reservist Involved in Prisoner Mistreatment.
Figures. People from this area do it all the time. They just can’t seem to function outside this close-knit little time-warped area. Out in the big, big world they behave like violent animals. That guy that killed Dominique Dunne, John David Sweeney. He was a Hazleton native off his mark. People around here got a get a grip on themselves and stop behaving sub-human!
Quiznos Comes to Markle Building
They’ll leave as soon as their lease is up and their free-tax status drops away!
Woman Charged in Freeland Stabbing
Another day, another mutilation. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
PA Reservist First to Be Tried in Prison Scandal
Seems that all the war prisoners were being watched by rabid Pennsyltucky lunatics, hand picked and placed in one single battalion due to psychological problems.
Revised Landlord Law in Hazleton
It appears that someone drew up a proposal that covered all the bases very well. Mayor Lou only wants a ‘bare-bones’ easy to pass one though! Naturally. ‘Hey, just cuz I’m elected to office doesn’t mean I want the do the job! I have pasta to eat!’
Merchandise seized from West Hazleton Business
Some one caught pirating DVDs and other things. Media in all its forms should be FREE to be copied! Well I’d guess the state police now have a really beefed-up film library now. *singing* On to Pirate Video!
Schuylkill Priest & Porn
Another man of the cloth or is that closet? Child porn is just twisted, man!
Simmons Company Comes to Area
Here’s an example of employment scamming where a company comes in offering maybe a few hundred jobs and it makes the locals beg like dogs for a bone. They have this wonderfully long and agonizing scheme of bringing people in on their own time to first a seminar for about two hours then you come back for an interview, a test (how much do you need to know about mattresses?) and drug screen, which is a load of nonsense (If you’re intoxicated on the job that’s one thing, and one thing that HAS to be proven anyway. What you do on your free time as you are only bidding for employment anyway, is your business!). Then after all that, they can still turn you away! So you’ve wasted all your time. The human resource dept don’t care. They’re salary anyway. Either way they get paid. Special thanks to CANT DO for offering us up as slave labor to the mighty cheap companies! Now everyone make sure to rush on down to the Career Center and fill out your application! Stool samples will be taken on your way out.
This was basically what the wonderfully relaxed Career Center had to express to Hazleton pravda about employment at Simmons Company. Careerlink...the only job security in Hazleton!
Monday, May 17, 2004
Panoramy Scammy
It seems that Mr. Meat & Potatoes himself (owner of Panorama Magazine *See picture in previous rant below*) just keeps practicing those tried and true Hazleton Business Ethics. Of course, ethics as a word AND as a concept don’t register for the jolly little fat check grabber. Mr. Meat & Potatoes decided he could run a better business if he sabotaged it from the inside by his own hand. Brilliant strategy! So he fired his head sales lady, not because he couldn’t stand to part with the bucks to pay the woman who was making his wallet almost as fat as he is. HEAVENS NO! He fired her because he is soooooo poor. He tried to wriggle his fat self out of paying the rightful benefits. What a cheap pig! I shouldn’t say that! It’s his jaguars that are nice and well taken care of. He’s a pauper. Well, he lost his petty bid to try and stop her from collecting unemployment. She won. Now she can rightfully collect from him since he fired her in the first place. The premier cheapo geriatric magazine is now in its death throws. Mr. Meat & Potatoes has decided to try to run the magazine by himself because he’s just so good at everything *burp!* The only problem is that the only things the sausage fingered mongrel is any good at is taking checks and running businesses into the ground. Call it a knack. We at Hazleton Pravda are terribly pleased that Mr. Meat & Potatoes is getting back his dues in karmic fashion. Although, maybe karma had little to do with it. The man is an obtuse moron. It is only a matter of time before he pulls down everything around him. Good luck on your next bone-headed scheme, Mr. Meat & Potatoes! We’ll be waiting to laugh! Oh, and hooray for the worker and his rights!
ADDITIONALS: Addendum to earlier rants
Concerning NuNet Nazis: It must also be mentioned that the final straws breaking camel backs concerning the nature of NuNet’s terrible service were first and foremost the censoring of e-mails. A client could send and receive e-mails only under the constrictions of NuNet's prying eyes and they exonerated themselves by claiming it was in the service of eliminating spam. Bullshit. It was censorship and after all the web is supposed to composed of freedom, ya know. Bullshit. They were Big Brothering their clientel. There is no point having a service of FREE information that is being stifled by anyone but you the recipient of that service. It’s like getting a book from the library with half the pages torn out “for your own good!” Hence the name NuNetNazis!
Concerning the Job Corp: Hazleton Pravda would like to retract its earlier statements about the good that the Job Corp has been doing in the Hazleton area, since it was brought to our attention a reminder via are good friends over at the Institute that the Job Corp is little more then prison labor being exploited. We at Hazleton Pravda DO NOT condone the power-that-be using forced labor to carry out the whims of their own that they are too lazy and corrupt to do themselves or pay for. Cheapness is a Hazleton motto (one of many).
It seems that Mr. Meat & Potatoes himself (owner of Panorama Magazine *See picture in previous rant below*) just keeps practicing those tried and true Hazleton Business Ethics. Of course, ethics as a word AND as a concept don’t register for the jolly little fat check grabber. Mr. Meat & Potatoes decided he could run a better business if he sabotaged it from the inside by his own hand. Brilliant strategy! So he fired his head sales lady, not because he couldn’t stand to part with the bucks to pay the woman who was making his wallet almost as fat as he is. HEAVENS NO! He fired her because he is soooooo poor. He tried to wriggle his fat self out of paying the rightful benefits. What a cheap pig! I shouldn’t say that! It’s his jaguars that are nice and well taken care of. He’s a pauper. Well, he lost his petty bid to try and stop her from collecting unemployment. She won. Now she can rightfully collect from him since he fired her in the first place. The premier cheapo geriatric magazine is now in its death throws. Mr. Meat & Potatoes has decided to try to run the magazine by himself because he’s just so good at everything *burp!* The only problem is that the only things the sausage fingered mongrel is any good at is taking checks and running businesses into the ground. Call it a knack. We at Hazleton Pravda are terribly pleased that Mr. Meat & Potatoes is getting back his dues in karmic fashion. Although, maybe karma had little to do with it. The man is an obtuse moron. It is only a matter of time before he pulls down everything around him. Good luck on your next bone-headed scheme, Mr. Meat & Potatoes! We’ll be waiting to laugh! Oh, and hooray for the worker and his rights!
ADDITIONALS: Addendum to earlier rants
Concerning NuNet Nazis: It must also be mentioned that the final straws breaking camel backs concerning the nature of NuNet’s terrible service were first and foremost the censoring of e-mails. A client could send and receive e-mails only under the constrictions of NuNet's prying eyes and they exonerated themselves by claiming it was in the service of eliminating spam. Bullshit. It was censorship and after all the web is supposed to composed of freedom, ya know. Bullshit. They were Big Brothering their clientel. There is no point having a service of FREE information that is being stifled by anyone but you the recipient of that service. It’s like getting a book from the library with half the pages torn out “for your own good!” Hence the name NuNetNazis!
Concerning the Job Corp: Hazleton Pravda would like to retract its earlier statements about the good that the Job Corp has been doing in the Hazleton area, since it was brought to our attention a reminder via are good friends over at the Institute that the Job Corp is little more then prison labor being exploited. We at Hazleton Pravda DO NOT condone the power-that-be using forced labor to carry out the whims of their own that they are too lazy and corrupt to do themselves or pay for. Cheapness is a Hazleton motto (one of many).
