Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Artist Announces Candidacy for Hazleton Mayor's Post
Well, it's 'Hazleton' official. Is 'Hazleton' official a good thing? Now that it's graced the pages of The Standard Speaker; John Medashefski is tossing his hat in the race to be mayor of Hazleton. Speaking as one of the working class and calling crime his number one priority, Medashefski's in the melee now. Too bad the Speaker buried the article on the bottom of page four.
Well, it's 'Hazleton' official. Is 'Hazleton' official a good thing? Now that it's graced the pages of The Standard Speaker; John Medashefski is tossing his hat in the race to be mayor of Hazleton. Speaking as one of the working class and calling crime his number one priority, Medashefski's in the melee now. Too bad the Speaker buried the article on the bottom of page four.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Council Takes Tough Stance on Separate League
The Hispanic quarter wants to have its own baseball league for young Hispanics, which according to the Speaker a resolution that will take the proposed $10 Grand for this and split it up among existing leagues states “The proposed creation of a Hispanic League of Little League will encourage cultural segregation.” There’s the key word, culture. It is better for the powers-that-be to stomp out individualism early on. Who do these freethinkers from the real world think they are anyway? They MAY have enough vowels in their names to suit the standing government, but they ain’t the RIGHT vowels! We must embrace our Latin brothers and break their spirits down to our level so they do nothing but what CANT DO and the Powers-that-be say. Then all will be right once more in the land of Hazleton. Besides that $10 Grand has probably already been long gone and spilt into the pockets of white (Hazleton white-trash that is) folk. Hazleton Pravda wouldn’t have made too much of this if it hasn’t been such a big thing in the so-called paper, The Standard Speaker. Really all this shows is that the powers-that-be wanna rope in what they thought would be sheep for the slaughter in the Hispanic peoples invited to come slave here in dreary ol’ Hazleton, and that they are trying to achieve this by lapdogging some of the Latino bigwigs. See below:
Lopez, Arroyo Tabbed for Little League Opening Day
See the Hispanics ARE just like us. They roll over too!
Hit Hard
According to the Speaker, “Rising gas prices affecting poorest Americans most.” So it’s finally being acknowledged that Hazleton is the poorest dump on Earth. How are we gonna afford to the only recreation we have in Hazleton, work and slavery now! Gotta get to work, cuz the factory will cut ya out like such deadwood if yer not there laboring at attention on time and hire some other sucker to replace ya. It’s not like they’ll give ya a raise to cope with the rising cost of ‘living’ which in Hazleton is a pack of smokes, five in the gas tank a Farmer’s Iced Tea and maybe a loaf of bread from the floor of Stroemann’s bakery every day from the Pantry Quick. And don’t count on the bread. Really just think how much it costs YOU the denizens of Hazleton just to get to the time clock and make it through the drudgery? It’s ridiculous. And the wondrous wages you receive are all JUST ENOUGH to keep you alive and keep you pumping out garbage day in and day out; just enough food; just enough for gas; just enough to numb you out so you catch some sleep and do it all over again on your next 100 hour shift of slaving. Ain’t it great that Hazleton provides so much for us all?
WOPOPHELIA—The feeling you get that your wallet is being bled dry by Hazleton deigos
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
DEIGOPHOBIA—The irrational fear of Hazleton wops
—Gombeggar, Editor
Bloomsburg Man Killed in Collision on Airport Road
That beltway, the Airport Road needs to be widened and has for years. It also requires a turning lane. Not until enough palms get greased though. When you can smell olive oil in the air the time will be right. It’s like the cliched brimstone and sulfur smell when the devil appears, ya know?
HASD Committee Pleads for Funding for New Books
See, they’ve already spent all their money on radar detectors, mine fields, stazers, armed guards and such, oh and cigarette machines in the teachers lounge that they forgot to put aside any money for actual schooling implements, such as oddly enough books. “You can’t put it in (the budget) just because it’s for education.”—Rick Morelli, HASD Director, according to the Speaker. “What was cut from athletics?”—Steve Hahn, another HASD Director, according to the Speaker. That’s a REAL GOOD question, Mr. Hahn.
Freeland Woman Charged with Hindering Apprehension
Cheers to this heroic woman for trying to stand up to the oppression of local and state police, who treat the average denizen like a criminal, and a nondescript number on a citation no matter what the circumstance. Nevermind that it was a hit-and run. Anything’s legal according to Bob Dylan, “so long as ya don’t get caught!” If we all would try more to help our fellow man in the face of small town tyranny it would be a better world. Hazleton Pravda does frown upon lawbreaking, but the heavy-handed behavior of area police and the cold, unsympathetic and reactionary way of treating common people in this area is altogether outrageous. What ever happened to ‘Serve and Protect’? It’s now a euphemism for ‘Hand you a bill; You have no rights!’
Separatist League Loses County Funds
Gawd, the Speaker makes it sound like there’s a revolution going on cuz the Hispanics want a little league team. I guess Mayor Lou, ‘Il Ziluce’ is gonna declare martial law and annex Drums now for more Pine Street rowhomes. He’s gonna have ta!
Property Tax Reform
Reductions in property taxes in the Hazleton Area School District, but we have the BEST dirt! Well, it’s Hazleton, the property isn’t worth anything anyway
Luzerne County Burn Ban
Deigo-Lightning is of course the exception to this mandate. Feel free to burn down buildings and collect insurances.
The Hispanic quarter wants to have its own baseball league for young Hispanics, which according to the Speaker a resolution that will take the proposed $10 Grand for this and split it up among existing leagues states “The proposed creation of a Hispanic League of Little League will encourage cultural segregation.” There’s the key word, culture. It is better for the powers-that-be to stomp out individualism early on. Who do these freethinkers from the real world think they are anyway? They MAY have enough vowels in their names to suit the standing government, but they ain’t the RIGHT vowels! We must embrace our Latin brothers and break their spirits down to our level so they do nothing but what CANT DO and the Powers-that-be say. Then all will be right once more in the land of Hazleton. Besides that $10 Grand has probably already been long gone and spilt into the pockets of white (Hazleton white-trash that is) folk. Hazleton Pravda wouldn’t have made too much of this if it hasn’t been such a big thing in the so-called paper, The Standard Speaker. Really all this shows is that the powers-that-be wanna rope in what they thought would be sheep for the slaughter in the Hispanic peoples invited to come slave here in dreary ol’ Hazleton, and that they are trying to achieve this by lapdogging some of the Latino bigwigs. See below:
Lopez, Arroyo Tabbed for Little League Opening Day
See the Hispanics ARE just like us. They roll over too!
Hit Hard
According to the Speaker, “Rising gas prices affecting poorest Americans most.” So it’s finally being acknowledged that Hazleton is the poorest dump on Earth. How are we gonna afford to the only recreation we have in Hazleton, work and slavery now! Gotta get to work, cuz the factory will cut ya out like such deadwood if yer not there laboring at attention on time and hire some other sucker to replace ya. It’s not like they’ll give ya a raise to cope with the rising cost of ‘living’ which in Hazleton is a pack of smokes, five in the gas tank a Farmer’s Iced Tea and maybe a loaf of bread from the floor of Stroemann’s bakery every day from the Pantry Quick. And don’t count on the bread. Really just think how much it costs YOU the denizens of Hazleton just to get to the time clock and make it through the drudgery? It’s ridiculous. And the wondrous wages you receive are all JUST ENOUGH to keep you alive and keep you pumping out garbage day in and day out; just enough food; just enough for gas; just enough to numb you out so you catch some sleep and do it all over again on your next 100 hour shift of slaving. Ain’t it great that Hazleton provides so much for us all?
WOPOPHELIA—The feeling you get that your wallet is being bled dry by Hazleton deigos
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
DEIGOPHOBIA—The irrational fear of Hazleton wops
—Gombeggar, Editor
Bloomsburg Man Killed in Collision on Airport Road
That beltway, the Airport Road needs to be widened and has for years. It also requires a turning lane. Not until enough palms get greased though. When you can smell olive oil in the air the time will be right. It’s like the cliched brimstone and sulfur smell when the devil appears, ya know?
HASD Committee Pleads for Funding for New Books
See, they’ve already spent all their money on radar detectors, mine fields, stazers, armed guards and such, oh and cigarette machines in the teachers lounge that they forgot to put aside any money for actual schooling implements, such as oddly enough books. “You can’t put it in (the budget) just because it’s for education.”—Rick Morelli, HASD Director, according to the Speaker. “What was cut from athletics?”—Steve Hahn, another HASD Director, according to the Speaker. That’s a REAL GOOD question, Mr. Hahn.
Freeland Woman Charged with Hindering Apprehension
Cheers to this heroic woman for trying to stand up to the oppression of local and state police, who treat the average denizen like a criminal, and a nondescript number on a citation no matter what the circumstance. Nevermind that it was a hit-and run. Anything’s legal according to Bob Dylan, “so long as ya don’t get caught!” If we all would try more to help our fellow man in the face of small town tyranny it would be a better world. Hazleton Pravda does frown upon lawbreaking, but the heavy-handed behavior of area police and the cold, unsympathetic and reactionary way of treating common people in this area is altogether outrageous. What ever happened to ‘Serve and Protect’? It’s now a euphemism for ‘Hand you a bill; You have no rights!’
Separatist League Loses County Funds
Gawd, the Speaker makes it sound like there’s a revolution going on cuz the Hispanics want a little league team. I guess Mayor Lou, ‘Il Ziluce’ is gonna declare martial law and annex Drums now for more Pine Street rowhomes. He’s gonna have ta!
Property Tax Reform
Reductions in property taxes in the Hazleton Area School District, but we have the BEST dirt! Well, it’s Hazleton, the property isn’t worth anything anyway
Luzerne County Burn Ban
Deigo-Lightning is of course the exception to this mandate. Feel free to burn down buildings and collect insurances.
HASD May Require Student Uniforms
What????? Teachers leave them kids alone! Why isn’t HASD more concerned with teaching kids how read and think and grow into complete human beings? Oh yeah. This is Hazleton. All the area requires is slave labor to chew up endlessly. So might as well start turning all these kids into clock punching drones as soon as possible, eh? It’s not bad enough that parents have enough to do providing kids with regular clothes and invisible backpacks and money for the pig slop that is cafeteria food. Now they’ll have another expense dumped in their laps. Hope there’s more overtime coming up. And don’t worry, cuz there iz!
Suspect in Fatal Shooting Pleads Guilty
“Yes, I killed ‘Flaco,’” Sanchez replied in Spanish. Guess that makes sense to admit it since like one hundred people saw the drive-by. What’s a shame is that this kid’s life is over now. He’ll never really know Hazleton factory bliss.
Christians Mark Good Friday
Yes, this is old news, but we at HP just wanted to remark how similar the re-enacting of Christ’s crucifixion is travelling to work at either the Valmont, Humboldt or Crestwood Industrial Parks. You’ve got a giant cross to bear, you’re being beaten and bloodied. No wonder the locals celebrate Easter in this area with such enthusiasm. They identify more with Christ on this day then any other, plus the people are totally dumbstruck by receiving a day off of the line!
HASD Calendar Hinges on ‘Castle’
The ‘Castle’s obviously behind schedule cuz not all the kickbacks and pay-offs have gone through quick enough to grease all the greasy fingers in this rotten town.
DEP Chief: PA Close to Getting Ethanol Plant
You have to wonder if this is all crap or not, like all the times GM Motors or Ford were coming to the area. It’s seems far too environmentally safe for it to have any place in this area. Now what we really need is a plant that processes the ancient and the money-changers around here into some form of useful material.
What????? Teachers leave them kids alone! Why isn’t HASD more concerned with teaching kids how read and think and grow into complete human beings? Oh yeah. This is Hazleton. All the area requires is slave labor to chew up endlessly. So might as well start turning all these kids into clock punching drones as soon as possible, eh? It’s not bad enough that parents have enough to do providing kids with regular clothes and invisible backpacks and money for the pig slop that is cafeteria food. Now they’ll have another expense dumped in their laps. Hope there’s more overtime coming up. And don’t worry, cuz there iz!
Suspect in Fatal Shooting Pleads Guilty
“Yes, I killed ‘Flaco,’” Sanchez replied in Spanish. Guess that makes sense to admit it since like one hundred people saw the drive-by. What’s a shame is that this kid’s life is over now. He’ll never really know Hazleton factory bliss.
Christians Mark Good Friday
Yes, this is old news, but we at HP just wanted to remark how similar the re-enacting of Christ’s crucifixion is travelling to work at either the Valmont, Humboldt or Crestwood Industrial Parks. You’ve got a giant cross to bear, you’re being beaten and bloodied. No wonder the locals celebrate Easter in this area with such enthusiasm. They identify more with Christ on this day then any other, plus the people are totally dumbstruck by receiving a day off of the line!
HASD Calendar Hinges on ‘Castle’
The ‘Castle’s obviously behind schedule cuz not all the kickbacks and pay-offs have gone through quick enough to grease all the greasy fingers in this rotten town.
DEP Chief: PA Close to Getting Ethanol Plant
You have to wonder if this is all crap or not, like all the times GM Motors or Ford were coming to the area. It’s seems far too environmentally safe for it to have any place in this area. Now what we really need is a plant that processes the ancient and the money-changers around here into some form of useful material.
