Saturday, May 27, 2006
Wikipedia on Hazleton Lifestyle
“Hazleton is a 4th World city.”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer & Web Surfer Extraordinaire
Chief: Drugs 85 to 95 Percent of Crime
—“Ferdinand, Hazleton’s Top Drug Abuse Counselor Address Red Carpet Breakfast”—The Standard Speaker
This is just more of the same. The real PROBLEM and it’s a two-fold one is that people suffering in the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area need to self-medicate because factory life is no life at all and that the powers that be are the ones allowing drugs into the area in order to placate their herds of slaves that work in the factories that keep this place a dump. Very cyclic. Did I say cyclic? I meant sick. “Hazleton’s drug problem is a significant part of its overall crime picture, but measures are being taken to contain it, the city’s top law enforcement says,” according to the Standard Speaker.
Let’s all keep in mind that the ONLY reason drug trafficking is the big ta do crime is because there’s money in it. There’s little money in anything else around here. That’s why the powers that be are so desperate to keep there hands in the till on the drugs AND to bring gambling in. Why does no one see this? It’s plain as day, not that we have much daylight in this miserable area. And why does no one realize that this area being as miserable as it is compounds the need of people to self-medicate. We don’t need crackdowns and police. We need the yoke taken from our backs and to be able to make a real living in normal work environment. Then you wouldn’t have the poor beaten-down denizens around here buying crack to shot into their eyeballs! This is ALL a problem created by and for the powers that be, so AGAIN we at Hazleton Pravda call on the down-trodden denizens of Hazleton to rise up and make change, voice opinions and stop letting them oppress you more and more each day!
Drugs are the greatest crime here in Hazle-waste-land? No! The greatest crimes are the slave labor camps they call production plants, the oppression of the poor and middle class, the intolerably low wages, and the high and mighty attitudes of those on top of the heap weighing the rest of us down with their heavy pockets full of misbegotten gold reaped from the toils of the walking dead labor force that IS Hazleton!
Magistrate: City’s Fine for Drug Paraphernalia Is Legal
Another HAZLETON style solution. There’s a problem, wring out the poor man on the street with a $417 fine including court costs, which means you gotta pay for the privilege of being shook down and harassed by the powers that be and their minions. They’re’ll be another few hundred dollars in the coffers to then be misappropriated and the REAL problem, the big time drug traffickers can be ignored once again BECAUSE arrests have been made and the Speaker has lapdoggedly reported how wonderful things are getting around here again.
Director Mulls Pulling Architect Off ‘Castle’ Job
At last a scapegoat has been found! Now all you who have been foot dragging, embezzling, palm-greasing and bill-padding to make sure you get every last cent out of this project can rest easy.
EPA Regulations Will Force Sewer Rate Increase
Does that mean we’ll be getting more sewage pumped into Hazleton? That’s usually how deals end up for us ‘round here. Or are they just gonna squeeze more money out of all of us. Come to think of it, WE usually get both of those ways.
Market Fair Seeking $271,000 Loan From City
Wow! That Frenchie-Cannuck has got a LOT of nerve. And the city of Hazle-Stupid appears to be happy to try and get him the money. The Pocono Market Fair has been running short-sightedly since its inception and it’s also been run something like a Siberian Gulag from the start as well. Most of the shop owners have had to SNEAK out of there with their tails between their legs because of high rent for small spaces, and because of the new and improved big brother specials including surveillance cameras and microphones. Microphones? What the HELL is that about? Chances are the phones are tapped too! Can you say ‘paranoid’? I think ya can. You can not run an open market like an Eastern Bloc country during the Soviet Era, not even in Hazleton. It just won’t work. No matter how much money this tripped-out French socialist gets in state money, it will eventually collapse in upon itself. And REMEMBER: as Al Bundy always says, “It is WRONG to be French!”
And of course, this is a news-worthy article that concerns the financial state of the city, so the Speaker buried this one too, on page five of the Thursday paper!
Alleged Killer Slipped Through System
Now THIS makes the front page, BUT all it says ‘between the lines’ is that either this cat was smarter then the average Hazleton-slave which is pretty easy to assume, OR the cops just didn’t want to do their paperwork when they pulled him over in the first place. That also is pretty easy to assume.
Cable Competition Legislation on Way
Well, we’ll keep an eye on this, but no monopoly is the only good monopoly after all.
Obituary Reprints
Now for all you SINK AND DEMENTED hangers on to the living dead of Hazleton, the Standard Speaker has figured out a way of selling more of their crap on parchment and fleecing the psychotically obsessed lamentors of Hazleton. Now you can own what looks like a blow-up version of an obituary of a loved one, or just someone who’s dead and has caught your eye, and that intrigues you enough. Gawd this town is nutz! This is why it is scary to even OPEN the Standard Speaker.
Pay Raise May Haunt Incumbents
Duh! But only if the public cares to try and remember. Spoon-fed and short-termed, YOU the people of this area are sometimes your own worst enemies.
Local Plant to Close
National Starch is leaving. Supposedly they’re going to help their local employees find new work. SORRY. There’s no work to be found in THIS ghetto.
Police to Keep Close Eye on Business They Closed
Yes, they are doing this to remain PUBLICLY vigilant whilst STILL ignoring the REAL problem, which is the big time drug dealers and the powers that be that ALLOW them to operate in Hazleton, for the right price of course.
Here is some old news that needs mention:
—Gombeggar, Editor
County Preserves Area Farm
A little over 1200 acres to be preserved. Wow! When there’s no land to grow ANY food cuz it’s all littered with suburban soccer-mom pre-fab houses. They’ll be tearing up the land to make way for corn and hay.
Hundreds Attend Job Fair
Still there’s NO JOBS around. Funny that.
Final Notes: Since SO MANY people have been looking over Hazleton Pravda trying to find out about Panoramy Magazine, we just though we'd remind you all how useles it is, that it is a waste of paper and run by a man whose best quote is: "I don't think I can pay you this week. I'm going to Atlantic City!" In short Panorama SUKS!
“Hazleton is a 4th World city.”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer & Web Surfer Extraordinaire
Chief: Drugs 85 to 95 Percent of Crime
—“Ferdinand, Hazleton’s Top Drug Abuse Counselor Address Red Carpet Breakfast”—The Standard Speaker
This is just more of the same. The real PROBLEM and it’s a two-fold one is that people suffering in the *trumpets please* Greater Hazleton Area need to self-medicate because factory life is no life at all and that the powers that be are the ones allowing drugs into the area in order to placate their herds of slaves that work in the factories that keep this place a dump. Very cyclic. Did I say cyclic? I meant sick. “Hazleton’s drug problem is a significant part of its overall crime picture, but measures are being taken to contain it, the city’s top law enforcement says,” according to the Standard Speaker.
Let’s all keep in mind that the ONLY reason drug trafficking is the big ta do crime is because there’s money in it. There’s little money in anything else around here. That’s why the powers that be are so desperate to keep there hands in the till on the drugs AND to bring gambling in. Why does no one see this? It’s plain as day, not that we have much daylight in this miserable area. And why does no one realize that this area being as miserable as it is compounds the need of people to self-medicate. We don’t need crackdowns and police. We need the yoke taken from our backs and to be able to make a real living in normal work environment. Then you wouldn’t have the poor beaten-down denizens around here buying crack to shot into their eyeballs! This is ALL a problem created by and for the powers that be, so AGAIN we at Hazleton Pravda call on the down-trodden denizens of Hazleton to rise up and make change, voice opinions and stop letting them oppress you more and more each day!
Drugs are the greatest crime here in Hazle-waste-land? No! The greatest crimes are the slave labor camps they call production plants, the oppression of the poor and middle class, the intolerably low wages, and the high and mighty attitudes of those on top of the heap weighing the rest of us down with their heavy pockets full of misbegotten gold reaped from the toils of the walking dead labor force that IS Hazleton!
Magistrate: City’s Fine for Drug Paraphernalia Is Legal
Another HAZLETON style solution. There’s a problem, wring out the poor man on the street with a $417 fine including court costs, which means you gotta pay for the privilege of being shook down and harassed by the powers that be and their minions. They’re’ll be another few hundred dollars in the coffers to then be misappropriated and the REAL problem, the big time drug traffickers can be ignored once again BECAUSE arrests have been made and the Speaker has lapdoggedly reported how wonderful things are getting around here again.
Director Mulls Pulling Architect Off ‘Castle’ Job
At last a scapegoat has been found! Now all you who have been foot dragging, embezzling, palm-greasing and bill-padding to make sure you get every last cent out of this project can rest easy.
EPA Regulations Will Force Sewer Rate Increase
Does that mean we’ll be getting more sewage pumped into Hazleton? That’s usually how deals end up for us ‘round here. Or are they just gonna squeeze more money out of all of us. Come to think of it, WE usually get both of those ways.
Market Fair Seeking $271,000 Loan From City
Wow! That Frenchie-Cannuck has got a LOT of nerve. And the city of Hazle-Stupid appears to be happy to try and get him the money. The Pocono Market Fair has been running short-sightedly since its inception and it’s also been run something like a Siberian Gulag from the start as well. Most of the shop owners have had to SNEAK out of there with their tails between their legs because of high rent for small spaces, and because of the new and improved big brother specials including surveillance cameras and microphones. Microphones? What the HELL is that about? Chances are the phones are tapped too! Can you say ‘paranoid’? I think ya can. You can not run an open market like an Eastern Bloc country during the Soviet Era, not even in Hazleton. It just won’t work. No matter how much money this tripped-out French socialist gets in state money, it will eventually collapse in upon itself. And REMEMBER: as Al Bundy always says, “It is WRONG to be French!”
And of course, this is a news-worthy article that concerns the financial state of the city, so the Speaker buried this one too, on page five of the Thursday paper!
Alleged Killer Slipped Through System
Now THIS makes the front page, BUT all it says ‘between the lines’ is that either this cat was smarter then the average Hazleton-slave which is pretty easy to assume, OR the cops just didn’t want to do their paperwork when they pulled him over in the first place. That also is pretty easy to assume.
Cable Competition Legislation on Way
Well, we’ll keep an eye on this, but no monopoly is the only good monopoly after all.
Obituary Reprints
Now for all you SINK AND DEMENTED hangers on to the living dead of Hazleton, the Standard Speaker has figured out a way of selling more of their crap on parchment and fleecing the psychotically obsessed lamentors of Hazleton. Now you can own what looks like a blow-up version of an obituary of a loved one, or just someone who’s dead and has caught your eye, and that intrigues you enough. Gawd this town is nutz! This is why it is scary to even OPEN the Standard Speaker.
Pay Raise May Haunt Incumbents
Duh! But only if the public cares to try and remember. Spoon-fed and short-termed, YOU the people of this area are sometimes your own worst enemies.
Local Plant to Close
National Starch is leaving. Supposedly they’re going to help their local employees find new work. SORRY. There’s no work to be found in THIS ghetto.
Police to Keep Close Eye on Business They Closed
Yes, they are doing this to remain PUBLICLY vigilant whilst STILL ignoring the REAL problem, which is the big time drug dealers and the powers that be that ALLOW them to operate in Hazleton, for the right price of course.
Here is some old news that needs mention:
—Gombeggar, Editor
County Preserves Area Farm
A little over 1200 acres to be preserved. Wow! When there’s no land to grow ANY food cuz it’s all littered with suburban soccer-mom pre-fab houses. They’ll be tearing up the land to make way for corn and hay.
Hundreds Attend Job Fair
Still there’s NO JOBS around. Funny that.
Final Notes: Since SO MANY people have been looking over Hazleton Pravda trying to find out about Panoramy Magazine, we just though we'd remind you all how useles it is, that it is a waste of paper and run by a man whose best quote is: "I don't think I can pay you this week. I'm going to Atlantic City!" In short Panorama SUKS!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
We here at Hazleton Pravda hope that everyone who could get to the voting polls last Tuesday did so. Exercising your right to vote may not always change the outcome of local and upward politics, but sometimes one vote can shake things up just enough. So always remember to vote. It’s one of those things the powers that be can’t take away from you just yet. And if enough of our voices are heard we can get rid of the powers that be and change the old guard for the better of us all—Remember, we all have a voice and a say. Change happens when we get off our asses and stop letting others make decisions that make our lives a Hazleton circle jerk, and a living hell of factory slavery and looking at ones feet.
—Gombeggar, Editor
Protests at Hazleton Mall Cinema
—By Scoop Donkey, Contributing Writer
The DaVinci Code as a film has brought local Christian Zealots out of their cumbersome world in outrage, or at least it did last Saturday night at Hoyts Cinema at the Laurel Mall. Small children perhaps eight or ten in black pants, white shirts and black ties were pressed into service of a religion they can’t possibly be old enough to comprehend let alone debate and protest. That’s the sick part: young impressionable children being dogmatized by their elders who are aghast at ideas about a two thousand year religion that is practiced almost entirely wrongly (as most religions are) by much of its splintered groups all claiming to be the ‘right’ or ‘correct’ religion of Christ. There is no hope for the blindsided. If you are so threatened in your beliefs by a work of fiction that was in fact an awful movie anyway, then there is little emancipation for you, the small-minded Christian. I did not enjoy the movie as you had to have sat through every gawd-awful DaVinci documentary from the History channel, The National Geographic channel and all those in between plus read a few books to know what the fuck was going on. That’s a lot of work for to see a movie, dontcha think? But even though I left halfway through the film, because I know the ending—Christ got the chop in the end no matter what—the high point of my amusement was when one of the young brainwashed zealot children came into the theater and proclaimed how we all needed to be saved on account of watching this movie. Well, one movie-goer shouted “Go to Hell!” I found that wryly amusing. Then the youth was pulled out by security. Funny thing religion. When you take it at face value and do not question it unequivicalibly then you start to listen to foolish things and the next thing ya know you are driving a plane into somebody’s skyscraper. Think about it.
Who’s Next?
“Super-Lou, don’t quit your day job!”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
How can we NOT jump on this? ‘Who’s Next’ IS one of the better albums by The Who, but it is one stupid decree from city hall. “I suggest if anybody in Hazleton is involved in drug sales, they need to leave or they will be visited. Who’s next?” —Mayor Lou according to the Standard Speaker.
Well, there’s so much wrong with this. A series of drug raids according to the Speaker? Now everyone should know that the powers that be NEVER bust anyone but the low man on the rope. The big shots never get hit, because the powers that be WANT drugs to come in to keep the factory slaves in check. What probably happened in this SERIES of drug bust is that once again the proper hands weren’t greased. The powers that be get easily upset if they haven’t got their hands in everyone’s till. Far be it that someone might actually turn a profit around here and not give their due. Yeah, drugs are a commodity like any other. Don’t be foolish and think otherwise. And OBVIOUSLY there is a need to distract ones-self in this miserable town from the drudgery of slave labor and poor wages. Ya gotta self medicate to exist here!
The Romans called it bread and circuses, and ya know every once in a while they too blocked the streets and sent some denizens to the slaughter like lambs. The same thing goes on here in Hazleton, with a very poor façade to cover the truth, that drugs aren’t gonna stop coming in when all those on top of this heap are making money at it with kickbacks. So while Mayor Lou was all cameras and smiles, he has little to be slapping himself on the back as another small man gets pummeled and taken to the ninth degree of the law for trying to make a little cash in a niche that is secretly condoned, and probably trying to cover his own needs to get through the day as well, while REAL traffickers keep safe and high and mighty in this crooked land of Hazleton. Oh, and ya gotta love the Speakers second pic for the news that day on the front page, Friday May 19th…Ya got Mayor Lou looking all important staring up into outer space whilst in the middle of the police and the one guy is just looking at Mayor Lou as if to say, “What the Hell are you doing here? We’re trying to work here!” By the way, did the Speaker get enough happy pictures of people being oppressed by Hazleton police? Oh and that sign they left on the premises of the shop they ‘closed’…’Sorry…They’re out of business. If you sell drugs you lose.’ The owners will probably be unjustly charged for the sign, and admonished for not paying the proper kickbacks to the right folks…Then they’ll be back in business on another street in a few weeks time. THINK ABOUT THAT PEOPLE! And keep in mind that Hazleton NEEDS all the revenue it can get. Closing businesses doesn’t help anyone unless ya want MORE senseless factories to swallow this area. Do you?
Bottom line is they (the powers that be) brought the drugs, the inner-city folk and all of it…and it blew up in their small-minded faces!
Graffiti Mars Pine Street Area
One street gets tagged and there is an epidemic of inner-city crime? Grow up Hazleton. Ya bring in metro people and you get metro life. Go get a bucket and a sponge if it bugs ya so much! Or just hide behind your curtains while the powers that be make all your decisions for you!
County Baseball Money Still on Bench
Not enough greenbacks and grease? So now cuz everyone has to be so petty (Hazleton as usual) the kids are gonna suffer cuz these yokels can’t get their heads outta their asses. Think about the kids for gawd sake!
Crestwood’s Hiring of Maintenance Firm Angers Some
And well it should. Plenty of jobs are gonna be out-sourced now when there are capable folks in this area that could use a job in maintenance and have the skills and the know-how. Why is this area always trying to shot itself in the foot and give everyone else are hard working dollars? You got to think of your own folks first.
Directors Revamp Effort to Amend HASD Hiring Policy
Now it will NOT ONLY be a question of who you know and who ya spread for. Now you’ll have to account at least three generations back that you have a hazleton deigo in your family heritage?
Lame Ducks
Lame politicians, lame area…too many kick backs…too much corruption…and too many people with their head in the sand.
City Needs More Doctors to Care for Latino Population, Panel Says
Huh? Wut? There’s nothing BUT doctors around here in the land of geriatrics. Amilcar Arroyo says according to the Speaker that ‘doctors may have to adapt to the customs of their patients who are Latinos.’ Huh? Wut? Huh? Look the doctors around here gotta just start charging less (which ain’t gonna happen) and I dunno what you need to do to accommodate Hispanic patients. What do they all have a third arm hidden under their shirts to make them more efficient factory slaves? That’s just stupid! Unless they’re not human, there should be no special requirements for medical care. And the doctors gotta learn Spanish? Granted learning a new language is open-minded, and Hazleton Pravda encourages expanding ones intellect, but hey folks, that goes both ways. Perhaps Latino patients should LEARN English? Huh? Habla ingles? Quiero a trabajar? Entonces, habla ingles! New ideas? If you go to France (and by the by don’t go to France) they expect YOU to speak French. You wanna come to Hazleton then learn CoalCracker with all it’s ‘henna’s and ‘pitza’s! Hazleton Pravda does support the Hispanic population as a new wave of immigration of a town and area built on immigrant’s hard labor, however these past generations of immigrant waves were required to Americanize and adapt to American culture. Hazleton Pravda feels that this novel concept should continue with new waves of immigrants learning the language of English and assimilating to American culture if they wish to reap the reward of the American Empire.
Two Charged in Slaying
‘Cops: Men in country illegally, dealt drugs’ according to the Speaker. This is Hazleton. There’s no money unless you’re selling something to make people FORGET that they ARE in Hazleton. Why doesn’t anyone get that? Or selling cigarettes. They’re OK to proliferate! Doy! These guys were filling a niche and the guy they shot evidently didn’t hold up his end of the bargain to their liking.
Police Plan to Continue Intensive Patrols (Continued from Above)
Now we thought that only the Japanese liked to mobilize. But they DO have to contend with Gojira. We only have to worry about greedy old white men who continue to strip mine this area of all it’s skin and bone and their greasy lapdogs that make it happen, oh and all the inner-city crime that the powers that be welcomed here with open arms hoping for a cheap slave-labor to pool from. Are we making this point clear enough for everyone?
But I guess any excuse for police in Hazleton to shake down the poor and weary denizens is just THAT a nice chance for Hazleton police to drive around and shake down the locals and bother mostly innocent people trying to survive in this ghetto we call home.
HASD Subpoenaed for Building Projects Records
It’s about time they got called on the carpet. Anyone wanna take bets on how many backdoor deals are uncovered? More to the point anyone wanna bet we, the denizens of *trumpets please* The Greater Hazleton Area!!!!! will never hear the true back story to all these nefarious building and rebuilding projects, not to mention the foot-dragging?
And now a word from the John Medashefski for Mayor Camp
“I just wanted to say that I sowed my oats and I matured. There will be no connections—No strings! The only connection I have is to the people—It’s [going to be] WE not ME!”
Coming Soon: “Now You See It…Stories From Cokesville, PA” by Bathsheba Monk
Madam Monk was kind enough to send an early copy of her collection of short stories to us at Hazleton Pravda, the book that outraged people in Tamaqua, which amused us here at HP very much. Her book will be out for the public on June 1st in bookstores. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! We will be having our staff do a review soon. Keep reading!
And one final note: DONATIONS! Look to your right PEOPLE! All you cheap bastards; Dig down in your pockets and help support Hazleton Pravda. You love us? You read us? Then support us! Even YOU, Mayor Lou (Hey! That rhymes!). We know you check the site out daily! Drop some change why dontcha?
—Gombeggar, Editor
—Gombeggar, Editor
Protests at Hazleton Mall Cinema
—By Scoop Donkey, Contributing Writer
The DaVinci Code as a film has brought local Christian Zealots out of their cumbersome world in outrage, or at least it did last Saturday night at Hoyts Cinema at the Laurel Mall. Small children perhaps eight or ten in black pants, white shirts and black ties were pressed into service of a religion they can’t possibly be old enough to comprehend let alone debate and protest. That’s the sick part: young impressionable children being dogmatized by their elders who are aghast at ideas about a two thousand year religion that is practiced almost entirely wrongly (as most religions are) by much of its splintered groups all claiming to be the ‘right’ or ‘correct’ religion of Christ. There is no hope for the blindsided. If you are so threatened in your beliefs by a work of fiction that was in fact an awful movie anyway, then there is little emancipation for you, the small-minded Christian. I did not enjoy the movie as you had to have sat through every gawd-awful DaVinci documentary from the History channel, The National Geographic channel and all those in between plus read a few books to know what the fuck was going on. That’s a lot of work for to see a movie, dontcha think? But even though I left halfway through the film, because I know the ending—Christ got the chop in the end no matter what—the high point of my amusement was when one of the young brainwashed zealot children came into the theater and proclaimed how we all needed to be saved on account of watching this movie. Well, one movie-goer shouted “Go to Hell!” I found that wryly amusing. Then the youth was pulled out by security. Funny thing religion. When you take it at face value and do not question it unequivicalibly then you start to listen to foolish things and the next thing ya know you are driving a plane into somebody’s skyscraper. Think about it.
Who’s Next?
“Super-Lou, don’t quit your day job!”
—Doyna Yar, Contributing Writer
How can we NOT jump on this? ‘Who’s Next’ IS one of the better albums by The Who, but it is one stupid decree from city hall. “I suggest if anybody in Hazleton is involved in drug sales, they need to leave or they will be visited. Who’s next?” —Mayor Lou according to the Standard Speaker.
Well, there’s so much wrong with this. A series of drug raids according to the Speaker? Now everyone should know that the powers that be NEVER bust anyone but the low man on the rope. The big shots never get hit, because the powers that be WANT drugs to come in to keep the factory slaves in check. What probably happened in this SERIES of drug bust is that once again the proper hands weren’t greased. The powers that be get easily upset if they haven’t got their hands in everyone’s till. Far be it that someone might actually turn a profit around here and not give their due. Yeah, drugs are a commodity like any other. Don’t be foolish and think otherwise. And OBVIOUSLY there is a need to distract ones-self in this miserable town from the drudgery of slave labor and poor wages. Ya gotta self medicate to exist here!
The Romans called it bread and circuses, and ya know every once in a while they too blocked the streets and sent some denizens to the slaughter like lambs. The same thing goes on here in Hazleton, with a very poor façade to cover the truth, that drugs aren’t gonna stop coming in when all those on top of this heap are making money at it with kickbacks. So while Mayor Lou was all cameras and smiles, he has little to be slapping himself on the back as another small man gets pummeled and taken to the ninth degree of the law for trying to make a little cash in a niche that is secretly condoned, and probably trying to cover his own needs to get through the day as well, while REAL traffickers keep safe and high and mighty in this crooked land of Hazleton. Oh, and ya gotta love the Speakers second pic for the news that day on the front page, Friday May 19th…Ya got Mayor Lou looking all important staring up into outer space whilst in the middle of the police and the one guy is just looking at Mayor Lou as if to say, “What the Hell are you doing here? We’re trying to work here!” By the way, did the Speaker get enough happy pictures of people being oppressed by Hazleton police? Oh and that sign they left on the premises of the shop they ‘closed’…’Sorry…They’re out of business. If you sell drugs you lose.’ The owners will probably be unjustly charged for the sign, and admonished for not paying the proper kickbacks to the right folks…Then they’ll be back in business on another street in a few weeks time. THINK ABOUT THAT PEOPLE! And keep in mind that Hazleton NEEDS all the revenue it can get. Closing businesses doesn’t help anyone unless ya want MORE senseless factories to swallow this area. Do you?
Bottom line is they (the powers that be) brought the drugs, the inner-city folk and all of it…and it blew up in their small-minded faces!
Graffiti Mars Pine Street Area
One street gets tagged and there is an epidemic of inner-city crime? Grow up Hazleton. Ya bring in metro people and you get metro life. Go get a bucket and a sponge if it bugs ya so much! Or just hide behind your curtains while the powers that be make all your decisions for you!
County Baseball Money Still on Bench
Not enough greenbacks and grease? So now cuz everyone has to be so petty (Hazleton as usual) the kids are gonna suffer cuz these yokels can’t get their heads outta their asses. Think about the kids for gawd sake!
Crestwood’s Hiring of Maintenance Firm Angers Some
And well it should. Plenty of jobs are gonna be out-sourced now when there are capable folks in this area that could use a job in maintenance and have the skills and the know-how. Why is this area always trying to shot itself in the foot and give everyone else are hard working dollars? You got to think of your own folks first.
Directors Revamp Effort to Amend HASD Hiring Policy
Now it will NOT ONLY be a question of who you know and who ya spread for. Now you’ll have to account at least three generations back that you have a hazleton deigo in your family heritage?
Lame Ducks
Lame politicians, lame area…too many kick backs…too much corruption…and too many people with their head in the sand.
City Needs More Doctors to Care for Latino Population, Panel Says
Huh? Wut? There’s nothing BUT doctors around here in the land of geriatrics. Amilcar Arroyo says according to the Speaker that ‘doctors may have to adapt to the customs of their patients who are Latinos.’ Huh? Wut? Huh? Look the doctors around here gotta just start charging less (which ain’t gonna happen) and I dunno what you need to do to accommodate Hispanic patients. What do they all have a third arm hidden under their shirts to make them more efficient factory slaves? That’s just stupid! Unless they’re not human, there should be no special requirements for medical care. And the doctors gotta learn Spanish? Granted learning a new language is open-minded, and Hazleton Pravda encourages expanding ones intellect, but hey folks, that goes both ways. Perhaps Latino patients should LEARN English? Huh? Habla ingles? Quiero a trabajar? Entonces, habla ingles! New ideas? If you go to France (and by the by don’t go to France) they expect YOU to speak French. You wanna come to Hazleton then learn CoalCracker with all it’s ‘henna’s and ‘pitza’s! Hazleton Pravda does support the Hispanic population as a new wave of immigration of a town and area built on immigrant’s hard labor, however these past generations of immigrant waves were required to Americanize and adapt to American culture. Hazleton Pravda feels that this novel concept should continue with new waves of immigrants learning the language of English and assimilating to American culture if they wish to reap the reward of the American Empire.
Two Charged in Slaying
‘Cops: Men in country illegally, dealt drugs’ according to the Speaker. This is Hazleton. There’s no money unless you’re selling something to make people FORGET that they ARE in Hazleton. Why doesn’t anyone get that? Or selling cigarettes. They’re OK to proliferate! Doy! These guys were filling a niche and the guy they shot evidently didn’t hold up his end of the bargain to their liking.
Police Plan to Continue Intensive Patrols (Continued from Above)
Now we thought that only the Japanese liked to mobilize. But they DO have to contend with Gojira. We only have to worry about greedy old white men who continue to strip mine this area of all it’s skin and bone and their greasy lapdogs that make it happen, oh and all the inner-city crime that the powers that be welcomed here with open arms hoping for a cheap slave-labor to pool from. Are we making this point clear enough for everyone?
But I guess any excuse for police in Hazleton to shake down the poor and weary denizens is just THAT a nice chance for Hazleton police to drive around and shake down the locals and bother mostly innocent people trying to survive in this ghetto we call home.
HASD Subpoenaed for Building Projects Records
It’s about time they got called on the carpet. Anyone wanna take bets on how many backdoor deals are uncovered? More to the point anyone wanna bet we, the denizens of *trumpets please* The Greater Hazleton Area!!!!! will never hear the true back story to all these nefarious building and rebuilding projects, not to mention the foot-dragging?
And now a word from the John Medashefski for Mayor Camp
“I just wanted to say that I sowed my oats and I matured. There will be no connections—No strings! The only connection I have is to the people—It’s [going to be] WE not ME!”
Coming Soon: “Now You See It…Stories From Cokesville, PA” by Bathsheba Monk
Madam Monk was kind enough to send an early copy of her collection of short stories to us at Hazleton Pravda, the book that outraged people in Tamaqua, which amused us here at HP very much. Her book will be out for the public on June 1st in bookstores. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! We will be having our staff do a review soon. Keep reading!
And one final note: DONATIONS! Look to your right PEOPLE! All you cheap bastards; Dig down in your pockets and help support Hazleton Pravda. You love us? You read us? Then support us! Even YOU, Mayor Lou (Hey! That rhymes!). We know you check the site out daily! Drop some change why dontcha?
—Gombeggar, Editor
