Sunday, February 13, 2005
Well we got a break from the snow and before we get buried again, Hazleton Pravda thought it a good time for an update and the start of Year Two HP!
Blaze Damages Heights Business
Well, the lightning has struck. Call it Jewish lightning, or call it Hazleton lightning, even Deigo Lightning. It’s a little too convenient for such a new and refurbished building like the Pocono Market Fair to catch on fire. It is incredibly convenient for it to catch fire TWICE in under a week. How is it that they were storing x-mas trees all the way into February? For kindling? We think so. How is it that someone was able to get into private offices to start a second blaze? Inside job? We think so.
Blame it on the French? Or just on one Frenchman, Roger Soler the president of this market fair tyranny nonsense. Ya see it’s hard for him to turn a buck with his supposed socialist, European (pee-on?) business techniques in Hazleton. So an insurance scam just makes perfect sense. Besides when you are a tyrant and everyone below you is the proletariat in your scheme then ya got a PYRIMID SCHEME to begin with. It’s up there with Prime America and Quixtar. However, it’s the same old problem. Nobody in Hazleton (excepting a select few) has any money. Again an insurance scam seems perfectly reasonable to recoup loses.
The funny thing is that the idea of the market fair is great full of variety and new fresh ideas for the area. And it is true the Hazleton could have used a thing like this, but all the poor suckers were roped into the Frenchie’s ideas and now that he’s fleeced them all for their shops and phones and whatever else he’s squeezed out of them, a convenient fire has come along to halt the only three days a week the store owners are allowed to operate along with what had become random business hours on any given day. How is a person supposed to make a living working three days a week? It’s not like the place is PACKED every weekend. It WAS this weekend cuz every nosey-nose in Hazleton wanted to see what the fire damaged and find out what happened!
How many a life savings is literally going up in smoke? Business as usual in Hazleton…go one take the money and run. Hazleton will accept you back with open arms, cuz we’z just so stupid! This place is doomed and so are the poor schmucks tied to this sinking ship.
“Didja ever notice how no one is surprised when a building is set on fire around here?”
--Observation from Doyna Yar
Weston Teenager Dies in Accident
If they memorialize this spot where the kid bought it, I know correspondent writer Doyna Yar will have something to scream about! Sounds like the whole affair happened on the way home from an all night grove party or kegger.
‘Castle’ Remodel Expenses Increase
Well, yeah. They tore down the whole ass end of the building. Not to mention the vultures of Hazleton sacked it like a crusading army and pillaged the place years ago now, when it was first closed down. So again, yeah! Of course, it’s gonna be expensive to remodel the place. It’s been gutted and sitting vacant for years while the foolish powers that be jerked themselves off and patted themselves on the back for the magnificent disaster, the Hazleton Area Correctional High School/Penitentiary for Adequate (or Below) Learning.
Oil Prices drove the cost of remodeling (according to the Speaker) up to 3 mill. Maybe if the powers that be would use some of that money they’re lining their jackets with, they could insulate the school building? Maybe. But I doubt we’ll see any cold or thin for that matter Hazleton bigwigs going around this winter season.
Click Here For a Link to Castle Pics
Local Fans Take Eagles Loss in Stride
Evidently the Eagles always lose anyway. Who cares? Football is just bread and circuses for the Hazleton masses (and the rest of the country) to forget their day to day drudgery.
Schuylkill DA targeted in Murder Plot
Someone tries to take a hit out on a lawyer? But everyone knows lawyers are good people who never bend the law to their own prejudices and never affect the lives of the common man in a bad way at all! They never ruin lives to such a degree that people are backed up against the wall and thus resort to such nasty things as placing hits on people. We at HP wanna see the movie “Godzilla: Destroy All Lawyers!” followed by “Godzilla: Smasher of Hazleton Banks.” Both would, of course be Toho-ho-ho productions.
Police: Off-duty Cop Shot at ATV
…Followed by “Godzilla Chews Up Local Police Idiots.”
A police woman off-duty should have her gun holstered or at most be apart and cleaning it, not being hair-brained and shooting at civilians no matter what she ‘thinks’ they are doing. That’s when you call an ON-DUTY police officer, duh!
Six Nabbed in City Cocaine Bust
Either it was just their turn to get busted or someone hasn’t been keeping up with their kickbacks! Naughty-naughty! *Finger waved admonishingly*
Another Distribution Center Coming to Humboldt
Weeee! More unskilled jobs to meet CAN’T DO’s unskilled labor plans and requirements. Oh wait. Some people will have to run forklifts. That’s important. Those lucky people get weight belts and cell phones. Whoopie! The place is called NBTY (for whatever reason) and yeah, they’re coming in on a KOZ free taxes for five years deal. Big surprise. Another warehouse dump, but they can’t call it a warehouse. It’s Hazlespeak when you officiate it with tons of gravy and import by calling a ‘distribution center.’ Eh, they’ll be gone in five years or less.
“Everyone at Can Do was excited when NBTY chose Humboldt Industrial Park,” Robert J. Moisey, chairman of CAN DO’s board of directors, said according to the Speaker. This guys another fish that’s got his hands in everything around Hazleton including the old folks home the Laurels out on the beltway. There’s a safe investment in Hazleton if ever there was.
Cranberry Creek Mine Reclamation
Mayor Lou’s making with the Hazlespeak now too. He’s calling the amphitheater site an ‘action team’ project. Go! Go! Hazleton Action Team! I wonder if they’ll make figures for this? Ya know? Little Mayor Lou figures with their coats of many dollars. They’re building this thing, this ampitheater (we’ll turn the trumpets off fer this one!) on the old Hazleton dump out behind the Hazleton Shopping Dump…er Center. And it looks like they’re gonna get more state and federal funding to ‘develop the porject and cut themselves fat paychecks in the meantime. Business as usual, the Hazleton way.
Let’s Get Physical
According to the Speaker students aren’t getting much in the way of exercise in P. E (Physical Education) classes. They seem to speaking about a national problem here, but our education system being what it is (prison-like) makes it useless for any sort of youth growth either mental or physical. But you would think that dodging over enthusiastic security and probably rubber bullets by now, would be enough of a work out and the kids would be in shape and agile as frightened rabbits. Then they could get a study hall in place of their P E classes, no? Well, I guess if they’re not there to learn, they’re not there to exercise either.
CAN DO Creates Business Incubator
Well, the first problem with this story is that you can’t rightly have ‘CAN DO’ and ‘creates’ together even though they are constantly patting their backs for ‘creating’ new jobs. I don’t think they understand the meaning of that word. Hazleton Pravda should probably send them a dictionary.
‘Growing Ideas’ is the big hook line. And the Speaker quotes them saying “CAN DO has attracted 22,000 jobs to this community and will continued to do that,” O’Donnell (CAN DO President) said. Even if the numbers are correct, hpow many of these jobs are shit jobs with swing shifts and ultra-overtime? And how many are managerial or higher jobs (salary) that are filled by people from New Jersey or NYC who buy gigantic houses in the Poconos or down the valley if they are the poorer-rich-fat-cats? People from outside the area coming in to carpet bag us with our eyes wide open? What do you the readers think?
Residents Blast PennDOT Project
West Hazletonians are determined to halt any and all progress having to do widening Broad Street to accommodate the heavy traffic flow. Hoorah for them! Let’s drop street lights too. Maybe go back to oil lamps and wrought-iron lamp poles. Hey, let’s get rid of cars while we’re at it. Everyone can walk out to they’re slave jobs in Valmont and Humboldt. How’s that sound? OK, we’ll just bring back the horse and buggy. There’s a lot of nimrods that would love all that! Of course, they’re all one hundred billion years old, on oxygen (and smoking cigarettes) while they scan through Panorama magazine looking for free things and Rodino-Glory-Daze tales of how great it wuz to dig a fresh out house every spring and how Dad got black lung and was damn glad to have it too! That whole strip of road is such a mess, but that’s the way the Westies like it. Boneheads!
Ya didn’t think we could start off our second year without a poke at Panoramy and it’s mutton-headed little dictator didja? Speaking of which Panorama is celebrating it’s 23 year (a nice odd number) and still holding their breath as the Neil tetters on the brink of stupidity and insanity. Neil says (as someone ghost writes) that Panorama is still growing. The only thing growing is that fat little troll’s chins (as some people know him) and his sausage like fingers. “We are a team, all of us who produce a magazine we all can be proud of.” Who’s he talking about? How can ya be a team if ya don’t have any players? We need like Panorama day trips to local sewage plants or something, meat & potatoes stories! Burp!
By the way, Schuylkill Plus is STILL better then Panorama
Sunday Sales Start at Hazle Liquor Store
Well it’s about time. The rest of the country (and the world) isn’t as tight assed about booze as Pennsyltucky is. Now we need a liqour mart, baby! Yeah! And the return of grain alcohol!
Blaze Damages Heights Business
Well, the lightning has struck. Call it Jewish lightning, or call it Hazleton lightning, even Deigo Lightning. It’s a little too convenient for such a new and refurbished building like the Pocono Market Fair to catch on fire. It is incredibly convenient for it to catch fire TWICE in under a week. How is it that they were storing x-mas trees all the way into February? For kindling? We think so. How is it that someone was able to get into private offices to start a second blaze? Inside job? We think so.
Blame it on the French? Or just on one Frenchman, Roger Soler the president of this market fair tyranny nonsense. Ya see it’s hard for him to turn a buck with his supposed socialist, European (pee-on?) business techniques in Hazleton. So an insurance scam just makes perfect sense. Besides when you are a tyrant and everyone below you is the proletariat in your scheme then ya got a PYRIMID SCHEME to begin with. It’s up there with Prime America and Quixtar. However, it’s the same old problem. Nobody in Hazleton (excepting a select few) has any money. Again an insurance scam seems perfectly reasonable to recoup loses.
The funny thing is that the idea of the market fair is great full of variety and new fresh ideas for the area. And it is true the Hazleton could have used a thing like this, but all the poor suckers were roped into the Frenchie’s ideas and now that he’s fleeced them all for their shops and phones and whatever else he’s squeezed out of them, a convenient fire has come along to halt the only three days a week the store owners are allowed to operate along with what had become random business hours on any given day. How is a person supposed to make a living working three days a week? It’s not like the place is PACKED every weekend. It WAS this weekend cuz every nosey-nose in Hazleton wanted to see what the fire damaged and find out what happened!
How many a life savings is literally going up in smoke? Business as usual in Hazleton…go one take the money and run. Hazleton will accept you back with open arms, cuz we’z just so stupid! This place is doomed and so are the poor schmucks tied to this sinking ship.
“Didja ever notice how no one is surprised when a building is set on fire around here?”
--Observation from Doyna Yar
Weston Teenager Dies in Accident
If they memorialize this spot where the kid bought it, I know correspondent writer Doyna Yar will have something to scream about! Sounds like the whole affair happened on the way home from an all night grove party or kegger.
‘Castle’ Remodel Expenses Increase
Well, yeah. They tore down the whole ass end of the building. Not to mention the vultures of Hazleton sacked it like a crusading army and pillaged the place years ago now, when it was first closed down. So again, yeah! Of course, it’s gonna be expensive to remodel the place. It’s been gutted and sitting vacant for years while the foolish powers that be jerked themselves off and patted themselves on the back for the magnificent disaster, the Hazleton Area Correctional High School/Penitentiary for Adequate (or Below) Learning.
Oil Prices drove the cost of remodeling (according to the Speaker) up to 3 mill. Maybe if the powers that be would use some of that money they’re lining their jackets with, they could insulate the school building? Maybe. But I doubt we’ll see any cold or thin for that matter Hazleton bigwigs going around this winter season.
Click Here For a Link to Castle Pics
Local Fans Take Eagles Loss in Stride
Evidently the Eagles always lose anyway. Who cares? Football is just bread and circuses for the Hazleton masses (and the rest of the country) to forget their day to day drudgery.
Schuylkill DA targeted in Murder Plot
Someone tries to take a hit out on a lawyer? But everyone knows lawyers are good people who never bend the law to their own prejudices and never affect the lives of the common man in a bad way at all! They never ruin lives to such a degree that people are backed up against the wall and thus resort to such nasty things as placing hits on people. We at HP wanna see the movie “Godzilla: Destroy All Lawyers!” followed by “Godzilla: Smasher of Hazleton Banks.” Both would, of course be Toho-ho-ho productions.
Police: Off-duty Cop Shot at ATV
…Followed by “Godzilla Chews Up Local Police Idiots.”
A police woman off-duty should have her gun holstered or at most be apart and cleaning it, not being hair-brained and shooting at civilians no matter what she ‘thinks’ they are doing. That’s when you call an ON-DUTY police officer, duh!
Six Nabbed in City Cocaine Bust
Either it was just their turn to get busted or someone hasn’t been keeping up with their kickbacks! Naughty-naughty! *Finger waved admonishingly*
Another Distribution Center Coming to Humboldt
Weeee! More unskilled jobs to meet CAN’T DO’s unskilled labor plans and requirements. Oh wait. Some people will have to run forklifts. That’s important. Those lucky people get weight belts and cell phones. Whoopie! The place is called NBTY (for whatever reason) and yeah, they’re coming in on a KOZ free taxes for five years deal. Big surprise. Another warehouse dump, but they can’t call it a warehouse. It’s Hazlespeak when you officiate it with tons of gravy and import by calling a ‘distribution center.’ Eh, they’ll be gone in five years or less.
“Everyone at Can Do was excited when NBTY chose Humboldt Industrial Park,” Robert J. Moisey, chairman of CAN DO’s board of directors, said according to the Speaker. This guys another fish that’s got his hands in everything around Hazleton including the old folks home the Laurels out on the beltway. There’s a safe investment in Hazleton if ever there was.
Cranberry Creek Mine Reclamation
Mayor Lou’s making with the Hazlespeak now too. He’s calling the amphitheater site an ‘action team’ project. Go! Go! Hazleton Action Team! I wonder if they’ll make figures for this? Ya know? Little Mayor Lou figures with their coats of many dollars. They’re building this thing, this ampitheater (we’ll turn the trumpets off fer this one!) on the old Hazleton dump out behind the Hazleton Shopping Dump…er Center. And it looks like they’re gonna get more state and federal funding to ‘develop the porject and cut themselves fat paychecks in the meantime. Business as usual, the Hazleton way.
Let’s Get Physical
According to the Speaker students aren’t getting much in the way of exercise in P. E (Physical Education) classes. They seem to speaking about a national problem here, but our education system being what it is (prison-like) makes it useless for any sort of youth growth either mental or physical. But you would think that dodging over enthusiastic security and probably rubber bullets by now, would be enough of a work out and the kids would be in shape and agile as frightened rabbits. Then they could get a study hall in place of their P E classes, no? Well, I guess if they’re not there to learn, they’re not there to exercise either.
CAN DO Creates Business Incubator
Well, the first problem with this story is that you can’t rightly have ‘CAN DO’ and ‘creates’ together even though they are constantly patting their backs for ‘creating’ new jobs. I don’t think they understand the meaning of that word. Hazleton Pravda should probably send them a dictionary.
‘Growing Ideas’ is the big hook line. And the Speaker quotes them saying “CAN DO has attracted 22,000 jobs to this community and will continued to do that,” O’Donnell (CAN DO President) said. Even if the numbers are correct, hpow many of these jobs are shit jobs with swing shifts and ultra-overtime? And how many are managerial or higher jobs (salary) that are filled by people from New Jersey or NYC who buy gigantic houses in the Poconos or down the valley if they are the poorer-rich-fat-cats? People from outside the area coming in to carpet bag us with our eyes wide open? What do you the readers think?
Residents Blast PennDOT Project
West Hazletonians are determined to halt any and all progress having to do widening Broad Street to accommodate the heavy traffic flow. Hoorah for them! Let’s drop street lights too. Maybe go back to oil lamps and wrought-iron lamp poles. Hey, let’s get rid of cars while we’re at it. Everyone can walk out to they’re slave jobs in Valmont and Humboldt. How’s that sound? OK, we’ll just bring back the horse and buggy. There’s a lot of nimrods that would love all that! Of course, they’re all one hundred billion years old, on oxygen (and smoking cigarettes) while they scan through Panorama magazine looking for free things and Rodino-Glory-Daze tales of how great it wuz to dig a fresh out house every spring and how Dad got black lung and was damn glad to have it too! That whole strip of road is such a mess, but that’s the way the Westies like it. Boneheads!
Ya didn’t think we could start off our second year without a poke at Panoramy and it’s mutton-headed little dictator didja? Speaking of which Panorama is celebrating it’s 23 year (a nice odd number) and still holding their breath as the Neil tetters on the brink of stupidity and insanity. Neil says (as someone ghost writes) that Panorama is still growing. The only thing growing is that fat little troll’s chins (as some people know him) and his sausage like fingers. “We are a team, all of us who produce a magazine we all can be proud of.” Who’s he talking about? How can ya be a team if ya don’t have any players? We need like Panorama day trips to local sewage plants or something, meat & potatoes stories! Burp!
By the way, Schuylkill Plus is STILL better then Panorama
Sunday Sales Start at Hazle Liquor Store
Well it’s about time. The rest of the country (and the world) isn’t as tight assed about booze as Pennsyltucky is. Now we need a liqour mart, baby! Yeah! And the return of grain alcohol!
