Friday, December 31, 2004
Aid Groups Accepting Donations for Victims
Before we begin thelast rant of 2004 and our New Year’s Eve message, Hazleton Pravda would like to turn all viewers attention to troubles currently in Asia due to the massive earthquake and tsunami. The above link will direct you to places where you can donate to the relief fund for those hundreds of thousands of people who are with out food, clothing or shelter. Try to rise above your Hazleton heritage of cheapness and give of yourself to people in need. Donate to this world wide humanitarian effort. Start 2005 off right!
Special thanks for diligence to Doyna Yar correspondent writer
Now the New Year is upon us all. We hope that through Hazleton Pravda you the denizens of Hazleton, and those much more fortunate to have escaped garnered some wisdom from our documenting the unspoken truths of the Hazleton area. If you are still trapped in Hazleton we hope you try everything in your power not only to escape, but to rise above the pettiness and the day to day drudgery of the area in the new year. And if you have escaped already, well we at HP hope that you have shaken the misery from yourselves and can go on to live a fruitful positive life out in the real world.
SMILE
It has often been noted that people in Hazleton don’t smile. Naturally, there is very little to smile about in this slatebank dump, but if you can pry your tired heads upward and do this one small muscular task it may help to brighten, if not confuse the people around you. One smile may lead to another and then maybe if enough people stop dragging themselves through existence in Hazleton, then maybe they’ll be enough people who like feeling bright and alive and those people will make the changes that Hazleton so desperately needs. Smile and realize that we have the power to change Hazleton from the despotic slum it is into a place where people can leave like human beings and work for fair wages and reasonable hours. And this could all start with a smile that says, “Yes, I know this place sucks, but we can throw out the old ways (and powers that be) that stifle life and creativity and everything else worth living for. We can make a difference and turn this town around!” –Oh and pick up garbage too. People really need to throw trash in garbage cans around here. A little cleanliness wouldn’t hurt the new year one bit people!
Sobriety Checks & Alcohol for the New Year
Well, any excuse for a checkpoint is a good one for Hazleton cops and state troopers, but we all know that holidays are the worst. Hazleton Pravda would like to send out this reminder that you don’t have to be drunk to receive a DUI or DWI from our overly authoritarian gland problem police force. It’s shooting fish in a barrel to them, so be careful, be safe and if you don’t have to drive tonight then don’t. Stay home or where ever you are partying and drink a toast to all the unlucky bastards getting padded bills from the Hazleton SS for just trying to have a good time away from the salt mines…er, factory slaving. And remember HAZLETON DOES NOT NEED ANYMORE COPS!
First Night Hazleton
To begin with we will quote correspondence writer Doyna Yar: “First off, it’s NOT first night. It’s New Year’s Eve!”
Doyna Yar is absolutely right. It’s New Year’s Eve, people! This stupid First Night crap is just that crap. It’s an excuse just like FunFest for the powers that be and the Hazleton chamber of commerce (a laughable notion) to sell advertising and for the local freak business to do some more self-promotion. Real cities have First Nights or things similar to it. Portland, Oregon has First Thursday every month were city art galleries open their doors to the public and give out free wine and cheese while people can wander and enjoy art and literature. First Night is for community and culture to be expressed. Hazleton has none of that. It’s like trying to get water from a dry well. It is a shameless thinly veiled billboard for how great the powers that be tell you Hazleton is supposed to be. And the non-alcoholic thing is just ridiculous. It was brought to HP’s attention that the police will be swarming over the event and anyone even appearing intoxicated will be either thrown out or thrown in jail. There’s some community spirit for us all to take a long think about! You CAN’T have fun in Hazleton unless you are 1200 sheets to the wind. There’s nothing to do in Hazleton, and there’s less to do at Hazleton’s First Night again because without culture and something really community based there’s no show. Oh boy, you can get a Jimmy’s hot dog past midnight maybe. That’s if the guy that owns Jimmy’s slips the chamber an extra five bucks to stay open late of something. There’s lots of culture in a hot dog! And then to have the cops shaking everyone down for booze or these stupid badges ya gotta wear, well that’s just how we’d all like to spend our New Year’s Eve. I’m sure there are plenty of artists and people of real culture (hiding of course) in Hazleton that could give this wildly inaccurate deigo-carnie event some dignity, but unless the wheels are greased with greenbacks ain’t no art gonna be at our Hazleton shindig! Stay home, go out, drink or not…do anything but DON’T waste your time and money at Hazleton First Night.
Parking Meters for Christmas???
It was brought to the attention of Hazleton Pravda by a loyal fan that the Standard Speaker recently received an comment from a reader who blasted Hazleton pointing out that he had traveled to nearby Lewisburg (a town that has art and culture) over the holidays and that in THAT town (which is so much more a real place then Hazleton) they tied off the parking meters with bags and Christmas ribbons letting people know that parking was free over the holidays. Well, as soon as the powers that be heard of this through their lapdog press, the Speaker, wouldn’t you know that meters started getting bagged in Hazleton? Funny that, isn’t it? No, it’s kinda pathetic cuz the meters weren’t bagged for very long and there were only maybe a couple of streets that had been bagged in the first place. The gawd almighty dimes that the city lost in revenue must have killed them! Bet they won’t make THAT mistake again!
DeNaples Apparently Planning Slots Site
Hazleton Pravda has long been checked out on the web by people looking for ‘DeNaples’ in conjunction with their junkyard and mafia. We here at HP were concerned that there was an unspoken truth here that we had missed or overlooked. Here we found this item about Louis DeNaples looking to setting up a slot machine joint in Mount Airy Lodge. The sale was kept hush-hush and DeNaples and others immediately involved could not be contacted for comment. That smells fishy enough. Sounds like more Hazleton like wheeling and dealing going on up in Wilkes-Barre Scranton, which is simply Big Hazleton taken TOO seriously. We at HP don’t know if DeNaples is mafia, but it wouldn’t surprise us here. Just another symptom of the crooked nature of this entire area. Squeezing a few more pennies out of the slate with gambling. And slots are a stupid method of gambling anyway. It’s like gambling for old blue-haired ladies and Neil Rodino. What kind of retarded crowd is that to be associated with?
Well, whatever DeNaples is all about, this thing with the slots sounds criminal. Pennsylvania needs gambling about as much as it needs Deigo Princes!
Incidentally, HP just wanted to get in one more Neil Rodino crack before the year was up!
In closing this year’s final rant: We at Hazleton Pravda wish all the real people, the poor shmoos and slaves of the Hazleton area a happy and safe holiday. Let’s all do our best to make Hazleton less of a dump in 2005!
Before we begin the
Special thanks for diligence to Doyna Yar correspondent writer
Now the New Year is upon us all. We hope that through Hazleton Pravda you the denizens of Hazleton, and those much more fortunate to have escaped garnered some wisdom from our documenting the unspoken truths of the Hazleton area. If you are still trapped in Hazleton we hope you try everything in your power not only to escape, but to rise above the pettiness and the day to day drudgery of the area in the new year. And if you have escaped already, well we at HP hope that you have shaken the misery from yourselves and can go on to live a fruitful positive life out in the real world.
SMILE
It has often been noted that people in Hazleton don’t smile. Naturally, there is very little to smile about in this slatebank dump, but if you can pry your tired heads upward and do this one small muscular task it may help to brighten, if not confuse the people around you. One smile may lead to another and then maybe if enough people stop dragging themselves through existence in Hazleton, then maybe they’ll be enough people who like feeling bright and alive and those people will make the changes that Hazleton so desperately needs. Smile and realize that we have the power to change Hazleton from the despotic slum it is into a place where people can leave like human beings and work for fair wages and reasonable hours. And this could all start with a smile that says, “Yes, I know this place sucks, but we can throw out the old ways (and powers that be) that stifle life and creativity and everything else worth living for. We can make a difference and turn this town around!” –Oh and pick up garbage too. People really need to throw trash in garbage cans around here. A little cleanliness wouldn’t hurt the new year one bit people!
Sobriety Checks & Alcohol for the New Year
Well, any excuse for a checkpoint is a good one for Hazleton cops and state troopers, but we all know that holidays are the worst. Hazleton Pravda would like to send out this reminder that you don’t have to be drunk to receive a DUI or DWI from our overly authoritarian gland problem police force. It’s shooting fish in a barrel to them, so be careful, be safe and if you don’t have to drive tonight then don’t. Stay home or where ever you are partying and drink a toast to all the unlucky bastards getting padded bills from the Hazleton SS for just trying to have a good time away from the salt mines…er, factory slaving. And remember HAZLETON DOES NOT NEED ANYMORE COPS!
First Night Hazleton
To begin with we will quote correspondence writer Doyna Yar: “First off, it’s NOT first night. It’s New Year’s Eve!”
Doyna Yar is absolutely right. It’s New Year’s Eve, people! This stupid First Night crap is just that crap. It’s an excuse just like FunFest for the powers that be and the Hazleton chamber of commerce (a laughable notion) to sell advertising and for the local freak business to do some more self-promotion. Real cities have First Nights or things similar to it. Portland, Oregon has First Thursday every month were city art galleries open their doors to the public and give out free wine and cheese while people can wander and enjoy art and literature. First Night is for community and culture to be expressed. Hazleton has none of that. It’s like trying to get water from a dry well. It is a shameless thinly veiled billboard for how great the powers that be tell you Hazleton is supposed to be. And the non-alcoholic thing is just ridiculous. It was brought to HP’s attention that the police will be swarming over the event and anyone even appearing intoxicated will be either thrown out or thrown in jail. There’s some community spirit for us all to take a long think about! You CAN’T have fun in Hazleton unless you are 1200 sheets to the wind. There’s nothing to do in Hazleton, and there’s less to do at Hazleton’s First Night again because without culture and something really community based there’s no show. Oh boy, you can get a Jimmy’s hot dog past midnight maybe. That’s if the guy that owns Jimmy’s slips the chamber an extra five bucks to stay open late of something. There’s lots of culture in a hot dog! And then to have the cops shaking everyone down for booze or these stupid badges ya gotta wear, well that’s just how we’d all like to spend our New Year’s Eve. I’m sure there are plenty of artists and people of real culture (hiding of course) in Hazleton that could give this wildly inaccurate deigo-carnie event some dignity, but unless the wheels are greased with greenbacks ain’t no art gonna be at our Hazleton shindig! Stay home, go out, drink or not…do anything but DON’T waste your time and money at Hazleton First Night.
Parking Meters for Christmas???
It was brought to the attention of Hazleton Pravda by a loyal fan that the Standard Speaker recently received an comment from a reader who blasted Hazleton pointing out that he had traveled to nearby Lewisburg (a town that has art and culture) over the holidays and that in THAT town (which is so much more a real place then Hazleton) they tied off the parking meters with bags and Christmas ribbons letting people know that parking was free over the holidays. Well, as soon as the powers that be heard of this through their lapdog press, the Speaker, wouldn’t you know that meters started getting bagged in Hazleton? Funny that, isn’t it? No, it’s kinda pathetic cuz the meters weren’t bagged for very long and there were only maybe a couple of streets that had been bagged in the first place. The gawd almighty dimes that the city lost in revenue must have killed them! Bet they won’t make THAT mistake again!
DeNaples Apparently Planning Slots Site
Hazleton Pravda has long been checked out on the web by people looking for ‘DeNaples’ in conjunction with their junkyard and mafia. We here at HP were concerned that there was an unspoken truth here that we had missed or overlooked. Here we found this item about Louis DeNaples looking to setting up a slot machine joint in Mount Airy Lodge. The sale was kept hush-hush and DeNaples and others immediately involved could not be contacted for comment. That smells fishy enough. Sounds like more Hazleton like wheeling and dealing going on up in Wilkes-Barre Scranton, which is simply Big Hazleton taken TOO seriously. We at HP don’t know if DeNaples is mafia, but it wouldn’t surprise us here. Just another symptom of the crooked nature of this entire area. Squeezing a few more pennies out of the slate with gambling. And slots are a stupid method of gambling anyway. It’s like gambling for old blue-haired ladies and Neil Rodino. What kind of retarded crowd is that to be associated with?
Well, whatever DeNaples is all about, this thing with the slots sounds criminal. Pennsylvania needs gambling about as much as it needs Deigo Princes!
Incidentally, HP just wanted to get in one more Neil Rodino crack before the year was up!
In closing this year’s final rant: We at Hazleton Pravda wish all the real people, the poor shmoos and slaves of the Hazleton area a happy and safe holiday. Let’s all do our best to make Hazleton less of a dump in 2005!
