Thursday, November 18, 2004
Voting Time Doo Do-do-do Da-do Da-do!
Hazleton Pravda hopes everyone has gone out to vote. Many people have been discouraged by the politicians running, especially the two candidates for the highest office in the land, the presidency. Pravda still hopes that everyone who could vote did so, and cast a ballot despite apprehensions, because voting is important (and it’s one of the few rights that hasn’t been fiddled with TOO MUCH).
Pravda reserves its judgement of those who won and lost in their bids for office, but will make note that on a local and state levels of government, one member of the Pravda staff has a very simple way of voting. That person simply chooses to vote for anyone whose name DOESN’T end in a vowel especially when it comes to local and city government.
However, Pravda does not in any way want the public to feel that voting for the Mafia-styled italians in the Hazleton area is a bad thing. Or that italians in the Hazleton government are in any way corrupt, duplicitous or criminal. As denizens of the miserable Hazleton area all voters have the freedom of choice, and with that they can choose to elect all the greasy deigos that there are offices for.
Again Hazleton Pravda hopes that you all went out and chose the candidates that you approve of and respect (and then we hope you voted for the ones on the ballot instead!).
I Hate My Job
“Spike TV knows it's not easy for guys to find the courage to leave that 9 to 5 behind and chase after what it is they really want to do. So this fall Spike is giving eight regular guys the opportunity of a lifetime, to ditch their present 'crappy' jobs and go after their dream career. Spike understands that these guys will need a little help and guidance if they're to achieve their dreams, so we've brought in the master of motivation, the igniter of inspiration, the one, the only, Reverend Al Sharpton. Al with his team of mentors and coaches will work with the eight men and in the end we'll see who gets hired and who goes back to their day jobs.”
--The Spike TV Official Website
How About: I Hate the Jobs Hazleton Has to Offer?
Hazleton Pravda offers that the job situation in Hazleton is not 9 to 5. It’s not anything like regular work for regular pay…The working situation of Hazleton is just a step above the gulag’s of Siberia and the child labor of Southeast Asia. I doubt OSHA has ever really seen the real working conditions of the Hazleton are factory-slave-sweat-shops, where people are required to give 110% and then bring another 200% to the table without breaks, lunch or even job security. What OSHA has probably seen provided they’ve ever come to a CANT DO factory in the Hazleton area is probably akin to what the Red Cross saw when they went to Nazi Death Camps during World War II: Happy prisoners who are content in their servitude and will be beaten later on if they present the happy slave encampments any other way.
Yeah that kinda sounds like the factory-labor-camps that run 24/7 only because they haven’t figured out a way to create a 25th hour in the day…Yet!
Yes, we at Pravda are so in awe of how factories and companies can come into this area using euphemisms like ‘ASSOCIATE’ instead of employee…Or shove ideas down their workers throats like ‘TEAM EFFORT’ when everything is one sided with employees drudging to give their best to employers who sit back and take all their workers have to offer then say ‘That’s not enough. Production is down. Stay another shift.’
It really is disgusting what factories can get away with in this town. Why not make a TV show about CANT DO factories? Well, that’d be so depressing viewers would probably commit suicide in the first five minutes of the show! It’s just too real, too pathetic and too unbelievable all at once.
But don’t think that we at Pravda don’t want you the worker to NOT go out and prostitute your life away to the CANT DO factory machine. Not at all. Get out there and get a taste of the unending grind that we as Hazletonians should be more appreciative of. When the boss tells you that your 8 hour shift goes on for twelve or sixteen instead because he’s gotta make his quota, then you do that. He’s gonna be in his office looking up NASCAR crap on the internet, so don’t bother him. And when the company doesn’t give you a lunch break, feel good about it. They agreed not to give you a lunch break in order to pay you for that half hour, after all if you take lunch that’s a waste of their time! Think inside the box, think company and get down on yer knees and be thankful for all the wonderful NON-OPPORTUNUITIES that CANT DO brings to you.
Oh and watch that Spike TV show too!
Simmons: The Best Deal in Hazleton
Being one of the newest family members brought into the fold of CANT DO, the Simmons Mattress factory has so very much to offer our undeserving labor force here in the *TRUMPETS PLEASE* Greater Hazleton Area!
To begin with they offer a job. And anytime a factory offers a person in Hazleton a job, that person ought to drop to his or her knees and beg for 24-hour shifts. I say 24 because there are still only 24 hours in a day, but I’m sure someone is working to fix that to help our labor force avoid things like overtime pay and breaks.
Secondly, Simmons offers Second Shift work, which is assumedly the second half of a 24-hour day, 7 days a week operation, because YOU KNOW that if a factory stops then the world around us falls to pieces.
Next they offer you a tedious introduction to the wonders of ‘Making Mattresses for Simmons.’ Don’t ya think you’ll find out everything you know about how to press a button or load a machine in the first half of your first day on the job?
Well, of course not.
That’s why those that pass through the introduction and the ever more tedious entry level testing are offered the great OPPORTUNITY to be TURNED AWAY (after wasting several hours of everyone’s time already) or face 3 weeks of UNPAID training. Isn’t that great? CANT DO thinks so.
I mean, why have high paying jobs with normal hours and paid lunches and breaks, compensation for your drudgery and medical aid, when you can have unending shifts, no breaks and minimal pay to keep you at the poverty level.
Don’t you people SEE all the BENEFITS of being under CANT DO’s thumb like short life expectancy and addiction to cigarettes? What a great life they offer us all. I for one pray everyday to the CANT DO facilities in Valmont and Humboldt for making Hazleton SUCH A GRAY PLACE TO LIVE!
Fuel Oil and the Begging for Heat
Winter is soon to be upon us. By the Institute calendar it’s already here! And by that calendar, there are really only 2 season in Hazleton winter (the long one) and summer (the very very short one, and growing shorter every year it seems). For more information on that, Pravda suggests you visit the Institute Bulletin.
Anyway, now people of Hazleton living at the poverty level have to beg for heating fuel just to keep their homes heated as the cold weather rushes over this great plateau of downtrodden slave labor. Oddly, it seems this social welfare seems to have only been implemented for the Hispanic in-rush, not the Pravda condemns the Hispanic peoples. Quite the contrary, we at Pravda embrace them and see the changes this new immigration brings as a very positive thing. Before the Hispanics arrived there were no such welfare programs in place.
However, it is sad that the *TRUMPETS PLEASE* Greater Hazleton Area cared more for people migrating into the area then it'’ own who have lived her for generations, pathetic really, but that’s the nature of Hazleton: Pathetic.
Pravda hopes that everyone can remain warm this winter.
CEO is providing this service...look for them on the web too!
Turkey Day Coming Soon
Hazleton Pravda and its entire staff wish everyone a happy Turkey Day. Keep in mind those less fortunate as the holidays progress and donate canned goods if you can (no pun intended). And for all you fat gravitational whirlpools (like our fruend in Louisiana) try forgoing a meal so that someone else can have the pleasure of breathing a little easier. Meatball hoagies & Stromboli for Thanks-Turkey Day? Well, of course there’s no bones…a meal operation such as that of the largesse requires simple inhalation. Chewing just takes away from the fullness of consumption…Like the mighty whale that inhales it’s food in the undersea depth…blah blah…fat…blah blah fat again…
Who’s Looking at PRAVDA?
We at Hazleton Pravda are terribly curious to know just who it is that is checking out this Blog that documents the out-right terrible living conditions of Hazleton and the Greater Hazleton Area. Write to us. Tell us your thoughts and feelings about Hazleton and Hazleton Pravda. We are always happy to hear from you whether you like us or hate us. We ant to know. Look for the e-mail for this site to the right of the screen (usually) and tells us your thoughts.
Hazleton Pravda hopes everyone has gone out to vote. Many people have been discouraged by the politicians running, especially the two candidates for the highest office in the land, the presidency. Pravda still hopes that everyone who could vote did so, and cast a ballot despite apprehensions, because voting is important (and it’s one of the few rights that hasn’t been fiddled with TOO MUCH).
Pravda reserves its judgement of those who won and lost in their bids for office, but will make note that on a local and state levels of government, one member of the Pravda staff has a very simple way of voting. That person simply chooses to vote for anyone whose name DOESN’T end in a vowel especially when it comes to local and city government.
However, Pravda does not in any way want the public to feel that voting for the Mafia-styled italians in the Hazleton area is a bad thing. Or that italians in the Hazleton government are in any way corrupt, duplicitous or criminal. As denizens of the miserable Hazleton area all voters have the freedom of choice, and with that they can choose to elect all the greasy deigos that there are offices for.
Again Hazleton Pravda hopes that you all went out and chose the candidates that you approve of and respect (and then we hope you voted for the ones on the ballot instead!).
I Hate My Job
“Spike TV knows it's not easy for guys to find the courage to leave that 9 to 5 behind and chase after what it is they really want to do. So this fall Spike is giving eight regular guys the opportunity of a lifetime, to ditch their present 'crappy' jobs and go after their dream career. Spike understands that these guys will need a little help and guidance if they're to achieve their dreams, so we've brought in the master of motivation, the igniter of inspiration, the one, the only, Reverend Al Sharpton. Al with his team of mentors and coaches will work with the eight men and in the end we'll see who gets hired and who goes back to their day jobs.”
--The Spike TV Official Website
How About: I Hate the Jobs Hazleton Has to Offer?
Hazleton Pravda offers that the job situation in Hazleton is not 9 to 5. It’s not anything like regular work for regular pay…The working situation of Hazleton is just a step above the gulag’s of Siberia and the child labor of Southeast Asia. I doubt OSHA has ever really seen the real working conditions of the Hazleton are factory-slave-sweat-shops, where people are required to give 110% and then bring another 200% to the table without breaks, lunch or even job security. What OSHA has probably seen provided they’ve ever come to a CANT DO factory in the Hazleton area is probably akin to what the Red Cross saw when they went to Nazi Death Camps during World War II: Happy prisoners who are content in their servitude and will be beaten later on if they present the happy slave encampments any other way.
Yeah that kinda sounds like the factory-labor-camps that run 24/7 only because they haven’t figured out a way to create a 25th hour in the day…Yet!
Yes, we at Pravda are so in awe of how factories and companies can come into this area using euphemisms like ‘ASSOCIATE’ instead of employee…Or shove ideas down their workers throats like ‘TEAM EFFORT’ when everything is one sided with employees drudging to give their best to employers who sit back and take all their workers have to offer then say ‘That’s not enough. Production is down. Stay another shift.’
It really is disgusting what factories can get away with in this town. Why not make a TV show about CANT DO factories? Well, that’d be so depressing viewers would probably commit suicide in the first five minutes of the show! It’s just too real, too pathetic and too unbelievable all at once.
But don’t think that we at Pravda don’t want you the worker to NOT go out and prostitute your life away to the CANT DO factory machine. Not at all. Get out there and get a taste of the unending grind that we as Hazletonians should be more appreciative of. When the boss tells you that your 8 hour shift goes on for twelve or sixteen instead because he’s gotta make his quota, then you do that. He’s gonna be in his office looking up NASCAR crap on the internet, so don’t bother him. And when the company doesn’t give you a lunch break, feel good about it. They agreed not to give you a lunch break in order to pay you for that half hour, after all if you take lunch that’s a waste of their time! Think inside the box, think company and get down on yer knees and be thankful for all the wonderful NON-OPPORTUNUITIES that CANT DO brings to you.
Oh and watch that Spike TV show too!
Simmons: The Best Deal in Hazleton
Being one of the newest family members brought into the fold of CANT DO, the Simmons Mattress factory has so very much to offer our undeserving labor force here in the *TRUMPETS PLEASE* Greater Hazleton Area!
To begin with they offer a job. And anytime a factory offers a person in Hazleton a job, that person ought to drop to his or her knees and beg for 24-hour shifts. I say 24 because there are still only 24 hours in a day, but I’m sure someone is working to fix that to help our labor force avoid things like overtime pay and breaks.
Secondly, Simmons offers Second Shift work, which is assumedly the second half of a 24-hour day, 7 days a week operation, because YOU KNOW that if a factory stops then the world around us falls to pieces.
Next they offer you a tedious introduction to the wonders of ‘Making Mattresses for Simmons.’ Don’t ya think you’ll find out everything you know about how to press a button or load a machine in the first half of your first day on the job?
Well, of course not.
That’s why those that pass through the introduction and the ever more tedious entry level testing are offered the great OPPORTUNITY to be TURNED AWAY (after wasting several hours of everyone’s time already) or face 3 weeks of UNPAID training. Isn’t that great? CANT DO thinks so.
I mean, why have high paying jobs with normal hours and paid lunches and breaks, compensation for your drudgery and medical aid, when you can have unending shifts, no breaks and minimal pay to keep you at the poverty level.
Don’t you people SEE all the BENEFITS of being under CANT DO’s thumb like short life expectancy and addiction to cigarettes? What a great life they offer us all. I for one pray everyday to the CANT DO facilities in Valmont and Humboldt for making Hazleton SUCH A GRAY PLACE TO LIVE!
Fuel Oil and the Begging for Heat
Winter is soon to be upon us. By the Institute calendar it’s already here! And by that calendar, there are really only 2 season in Hazleton winter (the long one) and summer (the very very short one, and growing shorter every year it seems). For more information on that, Pravda suggests you visit the Institute Bulletin.
Anyway, now people of Hazleton living at the poverty level have to beg for heating fuel just to keep their homes heated as the cold weather rushes over this great plateau of downtrodden slave labor. Oddly, it seems this social welfare seems to have only been implemented for the Hispanic in-rush, not the Pravda condemns the Hispanic peoples. Quite the contrary, we at Pravda embrace them and see the changes this new immigration brings as a very positive thing. Before the Hispanics arrived there were no such welfare programs in place.
However, it is sad that the *TRUMPETS PLEASE* Greater Hazleton Area cared more for people migrating into the area then it'’ own who have lived her for generations, pathetic really, but that’s the nature of Hazleton: Pathetic.
Pravda hopes that everyone can remain warm this winter.
CEO is providing this service...look for them on the web too!
Turkey Day Coming Soon
Hazleton Pravda and its entire staff wish everyone a happy Turkey Day. Keep in mind those less fortunate as the holidays progress and donate canned goods if you can (no pun intended). And for all you fat gravitational whirlpools (like our fruend in Louisiana) try forgoing a meal so that someone else can have the pleasure of breathing a little easier. Meatball hoagies & Stromboli for Thanks-Turkey Day? Well, of course there’s no bones…a meal operation such as that of the largesse requires simple inhalation. Chewing just takes away from the fullness of consumption…Like the mighty whale that inhales it’s food in the undersea depth…blah blah…fat…blah blah fat again…
Who’s Looking at PRAVDA?
We at Hazleton Pravda are terribly curious to know just who it is that is checking out this Blog that documents the out-right terrible living conditions of Hazleton and the Greater Hazleton Area. Write to us. Tell us your thoughts and feelings about Hazleton and Hazleton Pravda. We are always happy to hear from you whether you like us or hate us. We ant to know. Look for the e-mail for this site to the right of the screen (usually) and tells us your thoughts.
